Got this via email today. Thought it was hilarious. Thus I copy/paste and share it with you…
Remember the Nigerian chain letter scam? This guy does…
TIred of the Nigerian Scam? The guy who wrote this was, too!
I am Mr. Dick Cheney, the vice president of a nation-state
located in the Americas. Prior to assuming public office three
years ago under controversial circumstances, I headed a major
corporation in the oil industry that serviced a high number of
lucrative government contracts. This company continues to pay
me while I am vice president.
Until recently, my elected post positioned me well to expand
earnings for my colleagues in the oil corporation. On the heels
of a successful war that my administration waged in Iraq, the
company gained more than $8 billion in deals covering
everything from doing laundry, building bases, and rebuilding
the oil industry that was partially destroyed in the fighting.
We used every trick in the book to generate additional revenue.
We even made $60 million by over-billing our government for
fuel that was brought into Iraq by a Kuwaiti subcontractor. The
government attempted to investigate this overbilling, but the
army issued a waiver saying ths company did not need to provide
data justifying its pricing.
Unfortunately, recent external audits of the company’s
activities in Iraq are raising suspicions. My movements now are
closely observed, and I cannot risk exposure. I therefore
decided to contact you in confidence that you may be able to
help me move $20 billion in service contracts in Iraq over the
next 12 months.
I already have transferred the designated service funds into a
Swiss bank, and there they will remain until I can find a
suitable partner. I can offer you 30% of the total sum
immediately, while 70% is to be held in trust by you until we
decide on a suitable business investment in Iraq.
I personally appeal to you seriously and religiously for your
urgent assistance to move this money into your personal bank
account where I believe it will be safe until I can once again
move with impunity. As soon as you indicate your interest,
forward to me your telephone number, postal address, and your
bank account data. I will send it to an intermediary in
Amsterdam who will contact you directly. He will be empowered to
wire the funds from Switzerland to your private account. Do not
use my name or indicate that we ever have made contact. I wish
that I could liaise with you face-to-face to complete this
transaction, but you must now realize that would be impossible.
Please reply urgently and treat this offer with absolute
confidentiality and sincerity.
Mr. Dick Cheney
P.S. To prove the authenticity of my story (if you have doubts),
contact the Inspector General’s office of my country and inquire
about its probe into corporate fraud in Iraq.