I have viruses and spyware on my computer and I don't care

What I do care about is being harassed and assaulted by fucking system alerts by WinXP. They are FAR FAR FAR FAR FAR more annoying than the spyware itself. Does anyone know how to permanently shut them the fuck off?

yes. in case you mean the little yellow speech bubble thingies? you can make yourself a quick registry entry to make them stfu, thats what I did. you might have to re-do that though in case you use a registry sweepie thingie and it gets accidently cleaned out. anyway.

go to Hkey_Current_User\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Explorer\Advanced
rightclick, add a new DWORD- entry called EnableBalloonTips. Restart. Rejoice.