well, read this stuff and let me know what you think. i dont think anyone can offer constructive criticism on this one, so flames are welcome.
Seifer Almasy thrust his Hyperion straight in to the T-Rex’s stomach.
“GWAH HA HA!” he laughed aloud, “DIE YA CLUMSY LIZARD!”
The T-Rex roared with pain and then kicked Seifer to the ground. It charged at him but he sprung to his feet and shot a fire spell at it, which caught it in the eye.
The T-rex stumbled backwards and then surprisingly, began to speak, “WHOA! Time out, kid!”
“You can t-talk?” Seifer shouted, flabbergasted.
“HEY!” the dinosaur cut in, “WE GOT A TONGUE TEN TIMES BIGGER THAN YA HUMAS. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE WE HAVE BIGGER? EVER SEEN A T-REX WINKY BOY?”
“I DON’T WANNA KNOW” Seifer shouted, “No don’t!”
“Relax.” The dinosaur replied, “I aint gonna show you my winky.”
“So, can I do my limit break on you?” Seifer asked, grinning, “I mean the last time I did it. It chopped off a measly 1000 hp from that Squall Leonhart. And guess what I get in return.”
“Ooh. Ooh, I know. Lionheart.” The t-rex said jumping up and down, “Cousin Joanne got one too. I still have her skull in my house.”
“Don’t ya just hate Squall Leonhart, huh? Seifer said, “He and his goddamn Lionheart!”
“You said it buddy.” The dinosaur replied, “And that stupid moron Zell. His pants tear every time he kicks and eeeew I hate to see his cactus.”
“Chicken wuss doesn’t wear underwear?” Seifer asked.
“Nope. It happened five times in a row. It’s the same old story.” The t-rex continued, “He comes to fight me. HEE HAH! SUPER KICK! His pant tears and he’s banging on L2+R2. Really boring.”
“What about Irvine?” Seifer asked, “he does any damage to you when you fight.”
“Ooh ooh. Look at this.” The t-rex said. He took a step back and jumped a lot of times, each time landing in a different direction and making a shooting noise with its mouth, “guess what I am doing.”
“Imitating Irvine’s fast ammo limit break?” Seifer said.
“Bingo!” the t-rex replied, “Oh then that stupid goddamn dog, ANGELO!”
“I like Angelo”
“WELL, I DON’T!” The t-rex replied. He then flew into a rage and began to imitate Angelo, “Hey lookamme. I am a frickin’ dog. ANGELO RUSH!”
“Hey, stop!” Seifer said as the dinosaur rushed at him hanging out his tongue like a dog, “NO! STOP!”
It was too late. The force of the blow sent Seifer flying up above the clouds.
“Hey, There’s the Ragnarok!” he said on his way back from the clouds and fainted when he looked how far high he was.
“Ugh.” Seifer said groping his head, “Where am I?”
“Holy horse balls, batman!” came a voice, “he’s opening his eyes, batman!”
“He’s opening his eyes ROBIN!” another voice replied, “Shit! We’re still inside the bat cave. We have to get him out of here. He maybe one of penguin’s evil minions. Robin, quick! The hammer!”
Seifer slowly opened his eyes only to see a hammer crash down on his forehead and he blacked out again.
After what seemed like a time of eternity, Seifer slowly regained consciousness. He sat up straight and opened his eyes. In front of him was Batman and Robin rolling on the ground, fighting with each other.
“CATWOMAN’S MINE you bat barf!” Robin screamed, “You can take Albert’s sister!”
“In your dreams, boy wonder!” batman replied, “CATWOMAN LIKES ME! I can shout like a cat. MEOW!”
“Oh yeah?” Robin replied, “MEEEEEEEEEE-OW! HA HA! Who’s the batcat now, huh?”
Batman punched Robin hard and sprung to his feet and turned to a very confused Seifer, “Pardon the holdup, I am batman, who’re you?”
“Uh.” Seifer muttered, “Seifer Almasy. Where am I?”
“GOTHAM CITY!” batman replied as Robin got up behind him and hit him with a crowbar on the head.
“And I am Robin.” He said, “Pleased to meet you.”
“Geez.” Seifer said, “Why are you two fighting like this.”
“Well.” Robin said, “Caped crusader her forgot the password to the bat cave exit. He asked me. I said I forgot.”
Robin then broke in to tears, “Sniff. And then- and then he s-said he was gonna take CATWOMAN! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!”
“YES, I WILL.” Batman said jumping up and kicking him between his legs.
The two of them shouted, insulted and abused each other for some time and then calmed down.
Suddenly, a red phone behind them started to ring loudly, soon the answering machine kicked in, “Pick up the phone ya bat bastard! I know you’re out there!”
“HEY!” batman picked up the phone, “WASSSSSSSSSSUP?”
“Shut up you idiot!” came the reply, “Joker’s attacking the Gotham city bank!”
“SO?” batman replied, “The riddler already finished cleaning it up yesterday. His riddle was too tough.”
“Yeah!” Robin added, “It was, ‘how many legs do you have? Shout the answer out and I ll give all the money back.”
“So?” Seifer said, “Why didn’t you tell the answer?”
“Oh, batman did.” Robin said, “He counted the fingers on his left hand for half an hour and said 7. He got it wrong. I still think it was right though.”
Seifer sighed as the phone cracked out again, “Get your asses down here ok? You can at least get the headlines.”
“Roger that!” batman said and placed the phone down.
“ROBIN!” batman said jumping on to table and his cape fluttering high in the air, “TO THE BATMOBILE!”
“You crashed it into the valley a week ago, you dumbass.” Robin replied.
“Uh, ok. What do we have now?” batman asked.
“Shit. Oh well, what the heck.” Batman said, “TO THE BAT CYCLES!”
Seifer joined them as they ran to nearby room as robin was singing, “da da da da da batman! No. Robin! ROBIN! ROBIN!”
Batman grabbed a nearby cycle and fell down trying to balance it. Soon the three of them got used to it and they whooshed out of the bat cave after breaking open the password-locked gate.
OK…any comments are welcome…