I am back!

Let me make it quick and straight. See the angry Saint Nicholas in the avatar? That’s because a thing happened that made old Santa here mad.

An elf told me that there’s been some gossip about Christmas being cancelled. Are you trying to… I’d say a bad word here, but I see there are small kids reading. Anyway, are you trying to get me unemployed? I get paid per delivery you see.

What would be Christmas without a sense of hope and joy in the hearts of children? You do know that they are your own future, right? And the way they’ll grow up depends on their beliefs and experiences while they are still pretty young. They should have a happy meetting with their happy relatives eating a happy turkey and waiting for a happy gift to be happily delivered to their Christmas trees, sockings, beds or wherever they get it.

Speaking of trees, what’s in the head of those people who renamed them Holiday Trees? Oh man, Christ must have got so pisse… Er, sorry for the bad word. He must have got so mad when he saw it (last time I came here He posted in my thread, wonder if he’ll come by and chat a little bit again?).

Well, anyways. With or without Christmas, I’ve already paid for all the gifts, so you’re getting them all anyways.

Alright, I’ll search my memory and pick some of you. Then I’ll give you kids your stuff.

Let’s see… I’ll start by those who live near me. Weilla. Hm. Yes, you have been a good girl this year. So I am giving you an e-tazer. You can taze people remotely and through the internet with this toy. I think you’ll need it.

Star Storm. Not so good, not so bad either. Hm. Okay. I’ll give you a plushie for you to play with.

Nulani. Ow, such a cute little reaper! You get an hourglass for you to impress mortals with it. It’s light because it’s actually plastic, but looks like a real one.

Rhaka. It says in my list that it’s a boy, but I see a girl? Well, I could be wrong. Anyway, you get a shojo mallet to go along with your White Mage uniform.

Dragon Tear. A year supply of condensed milk… It’d spoil before you ate all of it. But Doritos, those are ok. I just wonder where you’ll store it all.

Mabatsekker. Hmm… A catgirl model, made of synthetic materials that mimic fur and skin, anatomically perfect to the last detail in and out. Wow, I don’t know why the japanese go into such hard work to put the word detail into it, nor why they needed to make some parts so realistical. Well, it’s yours, do whatever you want with it. (…) Why do I fell I’m going to regret this?

Pierson. I’m still trying to fix a date with the woman who plays the voice of that amazon with a feathered helmet from that videogame. Talk to me later about it, okay?

Big Nutter. Uh, no, this one’s been a bad one. Next.

Evangelion. I don’t know what to give you. There were some letters about… buttocks, but those are not appropriate. So you get cash this year.

Sinistral. You get a vorpal electric shaver.

The984. A Uriel voodoo doll. Together with chinese torture acupunture needles.

ClothHat. You get a book of recipes. Crab recipes. How to Feed a Family for One Year With Crabs - 365 Carribean Dishes.

Wilfredo Martinez. Isn’t that also the name of an alcoholic beverage? Anyways, you get a pretty special one. I know you love Superman. And I know that the dream of every SM fan is to have in his hands a legitimate and authenthic Superman no. 1…

(cough)

… costume. Here you go.

BahamutXero. What the He… Back to work, you lazy elf! You don’t get paid to fool around!

Eden. Ah, isn’t it every kid’s magic moment when they sit on good old Santa’s lap? That doesn’t need to be a gift, you can do it and talk to me and still get some toy or something else.

Setz. Bad boy. Next.

Kaiser. I didn’t know what to give you… So I’m just giving you this plate which says, “Santa knows all the people of the world and he confirms that this person is the only real Kaiser. Signed, Santa Claus”.

Alyx. I think you’d like to have some pets, right? I had one of the elves deliver some small rodents to your home. Cute little hamsters, aren’t they? (Well, I hope those are hamsters…)

Zeppelin. I noticed you liked those cure potion bottles when you first saw them, so you get one.

Kraken. You get a day in a spa and a trip to a beauty saloon to keep your tentacles shiny and colorful.

Yar Kramer. You get a sausage. Don’t ask, a stick told me about it.

You see, there are so many people here, that this could last the whole day… Those who have not been mentioned may ask something this year. For now I leave, to take kids their gifts in other boards that I still have to see before nightfall. Okay?

See you later! Hohoho, and a Merry Christmas to Yo! (I know, this was lame, but I’m a really old man… At least I’m trying.)

PS: why did my account get deleted?

PS again: I am not a runaway dog! It’s just that I really had more deliveries to do and toys to make so that’s why I disappeared last year and only came back now!

Oooooh… well the plushie is nice, so I’m happy… cuddles my plushie

Oopsie.

How come I didn’t get somethign, was I bad? Santa’s a meanie-pants-MEANIE! ;-;

Does anyone ever give you gifts for Christmas, Santa?

Because we purge inactive accounts at least once a year, Ren.

And I got no presents, so I feel no shame at pulling at the beard.

Yeah, wtf, I get no presents either?

You’re not real, or at least that beard isn’t. it looks like it’s glued to your ears?

YOU BITCH

I DONT WANT ANYTHING ANYWAY

For this, I bring out the YOung Val Sprite.

Man, santa, you suck. I guess the only way you deliver presents in one night is by being a total jerkass who ignores most of the people he should be visiting! kicks Santa in the leg I hope like a million kids pee in your lap this year!

I’m flattered.

Santa gave me a C++ manual when he did this for the first time ever and there’s only one person who could have done that :maho:

sorry somehow I accidently made three posts instead of one. Please forgive me santa it was a glitch or somthing. ;_;

Ignore this post it was a mistake.

I guess I wasn’t good enough this year. ;_;

Oh well I will just have to try harder next year. I still want the same thing Santa if you ever get to me. A gundam Pony.

Fuck you santa. Fuck you for not getting me anything.

I wasn’t very good this year. I was good to myself. But I’m pretty sure thats not what Jesus meant.

Remember, Jesus died for your stocking stuffers… or something like that.

No he died for Sin so that we could stare at his beutiful hair for all eternity.

SANTA

I PROMISE I’LL MOTHER FUCKING KILL YOU

Oooo, four more posts Cait.

Looks like you’re getting a custom title for Christmas.