How do you let someone know that it's not okay to be fat... but nicely

Okay, so I’m on facebook right. And you can tag people, 6 max. That’s where you highlight their name and those people that you tagged get a message saying you talked about them in a post. Long story short, I decided to tag the 6 people I would bring to repopulate mars once the earth is destroyed in 2012. I know 6 people is not a big enough genetic pool, but you can only tag 6 people. And obviously I am not finished building my spaceship right now so this whole thing is hypothetical at the moment. But aaaanyway. I picked 3 girls and 3 dudes. these 6 people are the smartest, most attractive, and in the best shape physically. So obviously there’s no fatties. So this chick responds to my status with “wow thanks” it’s like. what do you want from me lady? I mean, these choices were made purely by observation. If you want I can do some tests… but I’m sure they’re all gonna come back positive for ham. I mean, does she honestly think she has superior genetics than the others? is she trying to make me feel bad that she is morbidly obese? If you don’t know what your penis/vagina looks like, you don’t have superior genetics. Okay?

I tell them they’re fat.

I’d just laugh.

Don’t. They know they’re fat, believe me nobody needs to be told that. Why be an asshole?

Just sidestep your motive and say something like ‘can’t pick everyone’. >_>

“There’s a weight capacity on the ship.”

Unless she’s your girlfriend or you want her to be (which seems unlikely), I wouldn’t worry about having offended her. How many female Facebook friends do you have? Rejecting 1 of 4 is different from rejecting 97 of 100.

As for telling her she’s fat, it’d probably cost you your friendship. We want hard advice from some people, and friendship from others, but rarely both from the same person. A morbidly obese woman who calls Dr. Laura expects to be told to start exercising, and may thank her for the inspiration. If her male friend volunteered that advice, however, it would be humiliating and maybe so demoralizing as to be counterproductive.

Friends are pretty attuned to one another’s behavior. If you show more interest in one girl than another, you can be sure the other noticed and has thought of all the ugly reasons why. I’m sure this girl got the picture when you didn’t include her on your list. There’s no need to break appearances by telling her what your actions already suggest.

I would follow Trillian’s suggestion: “Can’t pick everyone.”

I’m blunt about these things, unless I feel the need to hold back. So I wouldn’t worry about it too much.

Can’t save everybody, ya know? Though Crotank’s answer made me laugh.

Change thread title to:

How do you let someone know that it’s not okay to go to Japan and try to get laid by some married women who kinda got you off years ago when blindingly drunk but isn’t really interested in you anymore and only let you stay there because it’s really difficult to say “no” in Japanese culture (or any Asian culture really) but secretly she can’t wait for you to leave and instead of trying to get laid by someone else because it quickly became obvious it wasn’t going to happen you just hang out on the internet for a month while you’re there…but nicely

Tag her six times in the same photo because one square isn’t big enough to fit her

A light-hearted joke usually breaks the ice and boundaries.

You: “Knock Knock.”

Girl: “Who’s there?”

You: “You’re fat.”

Or simply go tell her to be fat somewhere else.

Ask her why she thinks she should be on there. It is not like people are genetically fat anyway, disgusting life choices determine their over-all fitness.

I’m no scientist, but even REALLY thin girls have a hard time seeing their vaginas. Without a mirror. Right? Since they’re…underneath?

Unless… my god my vagina is in the wrong place?

Charl will check for you.

Don’t genetics have a bit to do with the amount of lipose tissue one has or is prone to having?


“The space suits are not one-size-fits-all. Google it. It’s true.”

You’re such thin nerds.

In extremely rare cases. The rest is people not understanding that the body stores any energy that’s eaten but not spent. Fat doesn’t appear out of nowhere. It needs to be made from something.

The “big” problem is that what people perceive to be normal to eat and how much of it doesn’t match with what they should be eating considering their activity levels. Expectations are set by the visual cues in front of them and the cultural norms and identity they unconsciously follow.

Examples of culture: a prof I had did a study on Indians with diabetes. Their society perceived fat to be a good thing, a sign of success, so it was strange for them that it was bad for them. Their idea of a well cooked steak is “with lots of fat”. My friend likes to go to restaurants and eat huge portions of everything. It makes him feel proud and manly if he is capable of eating an entire animal (like a chicken). He was upset that at the local rotissery, they sell half chickens and that he had to order 2 halves to get his whole chicken. He’s gained a lot of weight over the past few years because he stopped going to the gym. He used to spend hours at the gym so he could eat a lot in his meals. He didn’t understand he’s save time and money simply by not eating entire animals.

What makes people overeat tends to be a bit more insidious though. A lot of people think that Subway is healthier than McDonald’s, which is not true. Some 6in subs have the calories of a Big Mac. Its just marketing shaping people’s expectations and perceptions. People eat more of what they think is better for them and don’t want to understand when you tell them its an illusion. People like Brian Wansink at Cornell do research on these kinds of behaviors, studying how people behave when you put plates and glasses of different proportions to create visual illusions of size with their food, or quantify how much butter vs olive oil people put on their bread. He’s written a few interesting, easy to read books on the topic. I’d recommend anyone here to give em a try over the holidays.

A girl dumped me because I told her being fat wasn’t all about genetics.

I smoke a lot of pot. So I do a lot of sitting and staring. I’m a skinny guy because I don’t munch hardcore on snacks. I don’t do much, so naturally I don’t eat much. Why this is so hard for some people to understand? If I’m so big I can’t sit at a booth in a restaurant or can’t see my pecker, someone shoot me