Hey sin can I...

Can I cut off my dick and grow it back with stem cells so I can have a normal dick with a foreskin and all that cool stuff?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bXVFFI76ff0

Land of the free.

There’s a different part of your genitalia for which we would all be better off if you cut it off.

Yes. I propose you do so immediately. New dick = better dick.

I’ll take the sarcasm as a no. So I guess this is it. The straw that broke the Camel’s back. After losing all my SNES saves (recova didn’t work), I think I’m finally going through with it. I’m doing it by dehydration. Why? So I don’t have to actually do anything. I’m about a day and a half in already with no water consumption. Throughout the whole time I’ve had a can of pears, and I’ve been drinking chocolate syrup every now and then. I eat dry foods to help speed up the process. I’ll update on my progress each day.

Drink pineapple juice, it will go faster. Trust me.

Thanks, I’ll look into it. Could you tell me why?

EDIT:

I caved and ate a bunch of applesauce. I hope that won’t set me back too long. I plan on getting a bunch of soda to help with the thirst problem. I’ve never been a fan of energy drinks, but I remember some starcraft korean dying from staying up too long with only AMPs to keep him going. Sounds like a good idea, but I have never played starcraft. Kind of knocks a few points off my nerd score, but I think I make up for that with other things.

I’m confused what the hell he’s talking about now.

Hey sin, I don’t think I’ll be drinking any pineapple juice. I looked it up and didn’t find anything significant about it. So unless you can explain I’ll have to do this the old fashioned way.

EDIT

My sister wants me to go to some MLP thing at the library with her on the 14th. I’m sure it would mean something to her if I went, she needs a social boost. Not sure if meeting bronies at the library in a methtown is the best way to do it, but what the hell. Problem is I think I might be too fucked up by then. In other news I started a mission log type thing on my psp, where I record myself talking about the effects of not drinking anything hydrating. Maybe you guys would be interested? I don’t know where on the internet I’d post this stuff, though. And you guys probably don’t care, what with all your jobs and your college and your real lifes. Oh well, it’ll be a nice easter egg for any nosy family members after I’m dead.

Here’s the logs. I’ll keep adding to them of course.

GG, as much as I would like to tell you to go run off into the all-accepting embrace of the eternal unknown, please gather the few splinters of maturity that you have and go get professional help. You really very seriously need it.

Thanks trill, but like sin implied I can’t do it. I know you aren’t talking about that, but I thought I’d make a small joke. Anyway, don’t worry about it. The worst that can happen is that I die. If I don’t, somebody will likely take me to the hospital where I will resist making a full recovery.

Ok Setz, it is time to get over yourself. Get a job and a girlfriend, and move out of your parents’ basement, and stop bitching at random people on the internet about how awful your white, middle class life is.

:V

WHAT DOES NOT HYDRATING YOURSELF HAVE TO DO WITH CIRCUMCISION AND STEM CELL DICKS?!

…the way I understood it, he is upset about being circumcised, and because cutting it off and growing it back with stem cells to have a new dick with a foreskin won’t work, apparently he’s trying to… commit suicide by drinking chocolate syrup, among other things?

Dude, I don’t know if you’re being serious, but if you are just fuck off. I had a girlfriend one time, I started doing shit for myself. That’s over now and I honestly don’t want another one. Bitching at random people on the internet? Who the fuck am I bitching at other than you? I asked a doctor if he thought something would be possible and he said no, I described my next steps. I don’t think my life is awful, It’s actually a hell of a lot better than most of the people in this world get. I’m just absolutely disgusted with what’s been done to me, and I constantly feel violated because of it. I think I can understand how a rape victim would feel. That video pushed me over. I’ve seen the worst the internet has to offer of people being mutilated, but that video was something else entirely. The cruelty of the operation and the apathy of the demented surgeon. The mom crying in the background. AND EVEN AFTER THE EXPLANATION THAT IT WAS COSMETIC! Since when do babies get cosmetic surgery? Since when is any of this ethical?

Pay attention to Dragon Tear, it knows what it’s talking about and is pretty funny at it too.

Anyway guys, I feel pretty much fine. Still haven’t had anything to drink except for those two white mountain dews. I think they changed the flavour again. Kind of hungry…but no appetite if that makes sense.

If you’re going to commit suicide, just do it. Get a gun. Throw yourself in front of a truck. Hang yourself. Your slow method is a cry for help, not an actual desire to off yourself.

No man, I know it seems that way. The original post was a cry for help. Now I’m just giving up. Maybe it is a little bit, but if I do die from this I don’t really care. It’s kind of a two birds one stone sort of deal.

God. What a faggot way to die. No muss no fuss? Fuck it. If I were going to kill myself. It’d be spectacular. I can guarantee you that. I would get a wood chipper push it into sunday church and jump in, covering everyone in me. Or maybe I would go to a big five, ask to see a shot gun. Put a shell I bought from a different store in the shotgun. And blow my brains out right then and there. Or I would just join the military. If I didn’t die. I’d at least have accomplished something.

Sorry. Can we get Zepp in here? I think this thread needs more Zepp. Can someone wheel him in here?

nyrrrrpp jjyyyrrrppp mmlllllllllurrrpp

life is sooo good right now