Hey guys, this girl is now single.

A female Cartman?

What a fucking freak, jesus christ.


Great Scot!

Oh my god that brought tears to my eyes I swear.

/me holds them

Oh, lovely. Here is a woman whom I should love to date. :thud:

Nononono Percy, here’s a woman I’d love to dump. :wink:

Both, I reckon, would be equally painful.

Maybe shes kinky?

I like rough sex but that goes too far.

Oh… my… gosh! That is disgusting!
I only read the first sentence, and yet I already know.
Man, I can’t even stand to finish the rest of that. GROSS!!

Monti initially tried to hide the testicle by putting it in her mouth, but released it. Doctors were unable to re-attach the organ.

Another joke news site. Cool.

I’m female, and yet I still wince!

Whether this is fake or not, it still would suck.

Do insecure women have a fetish with pretending they could even touch a guy’s testicles against his will? I don’t get it. Stories like this just can’t be conceiveably true. Despite the fact that every single female on the fucking planet thinks testicles are some kind of physical trump, if a girl tried to harm me there she’d have a knuckle in her throat before she even finished fantasizing about it. And no, I have no problem hitting girls, I’ve done it in the past. In fact, I’d probably more readily hit a girl than a guy, since they love playing their fucking “No, we’re not as physically endowed as males!” card only when it’s convenient for them, meanwhile prancing around claiming that they are, as long as they can get away with it. Very irritating. Real women don’t need to pull shit like this, because they KNOW they’re good, they don’t need to convince themselves, and they sure as hell don’t need to convince anyone else.

I’m done bitching for the day.

I think I saw it on CNN as well yesterday.

I doubt it was a joke news site. If you read the news as a habit you’d know atrocious things like this happen – the fact that it was his testicle rather than his finger was what made it more important or inconceivable to you, I guess.

Sorry to say it Hades; the Scotsman isn’t a News Jokes site. Someone out there can carry his jewles around in a plastic bag.