Healthy Eating!

The Core RPGC Main Forum
#15

Many people would consider me a “Tremendomeatatarian”, which was a word invented by dinosaur comics to describe someone who only ate meat that was delicious. That doesn’t describe me.

I don’t eat vegetables, never have.

The only exceptions, if you can really consider them exceptions, are salsa (which I maybe eat once a year, and I don’t eat the chunky parts, just dip the chip in it to get it spicy) and the Curly Fries from Arbys (they aren’t vegetables, they’re in their own food group).

I’m surprisingly healthy despite this fact! I have maintained this diet since I was born, despite my poor parents’ best efforts. I am 6 feet and 3 inches tall, about 175 pounds, and live a healthy and active lifestyle.

Why don’t I eat veggies? I don’t look at them as food, in the classical sense. They don’t appear to be food to me, however I joke and say that I don’t eat them on the grounds that they can’t fight back if I attack them, therefore it’s unfair to eat them, as opposed to a cow, which is actually about 4 times bigger than the average adult male homo-sapien. Also, fruits are generally evolved delicious for procreative purposes, ie. an apple is eaten by a horse, shat by said horse, and a new tree grows where the turd falls. This means that, since you play a vital role in the process of allowing the plant to continue it’s life, it’s okay. However, if you eat a carrot, that carrot is dead. Forever. Not cool.

But the REAL reason is because they’re gross.

So ask me about my bizarro diet.

#16

My shits are fine, I mean, they’re not often exactly half the length of my fore-arm and perfectly smooth, but they’re hardly tiny-turds, or diarrhetic.

#17

As I said before, sweetness also makes me vomit, just like the bitterness of vegetables does, so no, I do not eat candy.

Well, OK, exception: I can eat dark chocolate. Sometimes I’ll eat a small piece of dark chocolate after a meal. But milk chocolate is disgusting because it’s too sweet. And I definitely cannot drink coffee- it’s far too bitter.

And I can’t drink any kind of cola at all because it’s far too sweet.

I DO like Sprite. Also lemonade, because it seems more sour than sweet. Those two things are the only things I can drink besides water. Mostly I just drink tons of water. And I can’t stand tap water, it has to be filtered, or bottled water that has been filtered.

This is a list of pretty much any meal I eat ever:

  • Steak and a baked potato with cheese and sour cream
  • cheeseburger with ONLY ketchup and mayo and potato chips
  • broiled fish (either whitefish or tilapia, no other kind) and clam chowder
  • fried chicken and jojos with ranch dressing
  • kung pao chicken and steamed white rice
  • beef and cheese burrito and tortilla chips and salsa
  • spicy chicken sandwich with cheese and mayo on it and potato chips
  • hamburger helper (classic) and potato chips
  • tuna helper (classic) and potato chips
  • buffalo wings and mozzarella sticks with marinara sauce
  • cheese ravioli with marinara sauce and garlic bread

And yeah that is pretty much all I eat ever at any time. It’s not even like it’s fun or anything. I’ve been eating the same stuff for so many years that I’m really, really sick of it, but I literally cannot stomach eating anything else, and believe me I have tried.

#18

Why are you posting the contents of a gassed thread in here?

#19

meth. amph. etam. inez.

#20

It’s one of the best threads ever, the best being the guy who helped some girl carry her printer like 3 miles by foot, expecting that she’d like reward him with sekusu because he helped her move the printer. but then when he got there, her boyfriend was there with her and the bf was like “hey man thanks a lot, you’re a great guy.” and the dude was SO ANGRY because how dare those fucking BITCHES always trick him into doing shit and not give me the sex. The dude died like two years later of cancer or whatever, died horribly alone and a virgin. That was the greatest thread ever.

#21

About three months ago I bought a pizza from the local supermarket and decided that eating it in the park over the road might be nice for a change of scenery, so I walked over there and sat down at a bench. At the next one over, there was a group of teenagers drinking and smoking and having a quiet chat.

Now, as soon as I sat down I felt uncomfortable, but it was too late to move so I just kept eating my pizza.

About ten seconds later, one of the taller guys comes over and stands next to me. I thought he was about to make fun of me or something, but when I looked over at his friends they were all preoccupied with themselves, so I looked up at him.

“Yo, [INCOHERENT], you got any weed?”

This guy had no expression on his face at all. He looked like a fucking statue. I didn’t want any trouble from him, and I didn’t have any drugs, so I figured that if I just gave him the rest of my pizza he’d leave me alone.

Anyway, as soon as I gave him the pizza he started laughing. He turned back to his friends, laughing and shaking his head, and then turned back around and handed me the pizza. Then he said something incoherent again and punched me in the shoulder.

What the fuck was going on? I stood up and tossed the pizza just behind him so he would have to turn around and then I just got the fuck out of there.

#22

This has always been one of the most interesting parts of the stimulant experience to me, when you’ve been up for just like 2 and a half coming up on 3 days and you notice your mind starting to slip away. But it’s still there, like I still feel completely in control right now. I catch little dots floating or zooming around in my peripheral vision and as more time goes on they work their way further and further into my field of vision. But just like 10 minutes ago I thought I heard like a couple arguing right outside my room and I took off my headset to listen for a moment but still easily realized the hallucination for what it was. And I don’t mean that I actually heard people talking, I can’t really describe it other than like random wailing sounds or something that my brain processed into whatever it could match close enough to. Then I went outside for a cigarette, and I hear shuffling in the bushes right around the corner which scares the hell out of me so much so that I have to go inside even while knowing that it’s been happening every night for the last week and a half or so since it’s starting getting really nice out, it creeped me out to the point where I wasn’t sure if it was just the same rustling I’d been hearing or if it was something more. And now I’m sitting on my laptop and I’m starting to sweat profusely just from getting worked up over these happenings.

Just little odd things like knocking sounds, etc. Things that are normal, and would seem normal under normal circumstances, but just aren’t quite. Enough that you start to question your own perception, even doubt it to a degree. But I gotta work tomorrow so it’s time to put an end to this

edit: oh god this is like a perfect example i gotta tack this on real quick. I swear I just read this whole thread through and now all of a sudden it’s about vegetables, and zeps sig looks completely different, and there’s a pizza story (sounds like you got deebo’d out of your pizza you punk rofl jk bro) and I FEEL like i knew that’s how it was the whole time, but I don’t really THINK that. Like I’m not confident at all that that’s what I had just read through, though the “rational” part of me says that’s the only thing that could have happened or something

#23

#24

Heart Attack grill claims second victim:

The Heart Attack Grill in Las Vegas would appear to have lived up to its reputation for the second time in as many months: On Saturday, a woman collapsed at the restaurant known for gleefully serving up artery-clogging entrees…

“We attract an avant-garde clientele – thrill seekers, risk takers,” he told the Los Angeles Times, adding that his restaurant is a “bad for you but fun” restaurant that “attracts people who don’t really take good care of their health.”

The Quadruple Bypass Burger can top 10,000 calories. Basso said the Guinness World Records book contacted him Friday to say that the burger was being crowned the most caloric sandwich on Earth.

The restaurant also offers free meals to people weighing more than 350 pounds.

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#25

Dammit LockeJV… I’m suddenly getting the urge to book flights to Vegas! x9

#26

These ‘nurses’ must never have eaten a full burger from that place.

#27

I don’t get why anyone would want to eat 10,000 calories of burger when s/he could eat 10,000 calories of pie. Some days I only eat pie. Nothing else. Those are the days I wish would never end.

#28

No, but I do wonder if on some days they rub each other down in half of one of those burgers’ worth of grease in some kind of weird wet T-shirt contest/orgy (except the shirt is immersed in grease).

#29

There’s this strip joint in my town that has the weirdest wrestling matches. I’m sure you’ve heard of water/soap wrestling, but this place literally has weird shit like mashed potatoes/gravy, peanut butter, creamed corn wrestling on like a weekly basis, which they unabashedly advertised on their sign out front. After RPing, my then-gaming group used to go to a cheapass restaurant that was situated next to it. We unanimously decided once that the food that didn’t get eaten at the restaurant ended up getting “donated” to the strip joint.

#30

There’s a joke about eating the mat and the Hunger Games (among others) in there but :boring:.

#31

There’s nothing like a healthy dose of:

#32

Death to America

#33

This thread reminds me that I wanna start a charity where stoners donate all the seeds they’d normally just toss out to hungry children in need of a good source of protein and fiber. I was thinking of Snoop Dogg for a smokesperson, but, honestly, I bet he hasn’t bought weed with seeds in it for like a decade now.

#34

Hahahaha what the fuck I didn’t realize people still smoked weed with seeds en et