Genesis of the Deathseeker

I’m new here, and this is my first fanfic here, so please give me constructive critiscim, but don’t dig into me too much. It’s about Nooj from Final Fantasy X-2 in his early Crusader days. I hope it isn’t as bad as I think it’ll be, and the chapters aren’t that long, but I try my best!

CHAPTER 1: PRACTISE MAKES PERFECT

He felt his leg shake in anxiety, and looked about. He wondered if his comrades had gotten rid of the Sinspawn…he hated the Djose Highroad, witch was strange for a place right next to a Temple, but he just did. Couldn’t the Temples get rid of nearby fiends?
Anyway, he wasn’t just being attacked, he was in the middle of his second ever training mission. He was Nooj, a self-proclaimed wuss, who had no self-confidence, but thanks to his dad, Maester Gilgamesh, being head of the Warrior Monks and the Crusaders, he was forced into all.
He thought about his first training session, and how badly it went.
In the Calm Lands, he was surrounded by a large Chimera on one side, and a Malboro on the other. His pathetic little sword wasn’t good enough, and as hard as he hit, they weren’t damaged.
“Dad!” Nooj cried, and then remembered how he hated that term. “Maester Gilgamesh! Help!”
“No son, sorry, but you must get through this alone!” He replied. “You’ll never become a real man and be able to fight off Sin if you can never beat two simple fiends!”
Nooj was panicking. His father usually would of made him join the Warrior Monks, but his mother died from a Sin attack while she was visiting her favourite place…the Macalania Spring. So Gilgamesh decided to draft his only son into the team who fought to protect people from Sin, instead fo the group that merely only protected Bevelle and Grand Maester Mika.
Gilgamesh looked at his son as he seemed close to giving up, and thought about how it was probably his fault his wife died…because he wasn’t trained.
Nooj was being attacked by the snake head of the Chimera, and was poisoned, and ready to be strangled by the Malboro when suddenly a large katana struck it dead.
“Well done,” a kind young voice spoke. “I may have defeated that creature, but you had weakened it severly.” When the pyreflies that glimmered in the sun like the light of the Holy spell passed, Nooj saw his saviour was the youthful, yet great Warrior Monk called Auron, who apparently could be the successor of Gilgamesh, and if the rumours where true, had been offered the hand of marriage by his older sister Eva.
“Thanks,” Nooj said, and his father frowned from nearby at the campsite that strangely enough, some Al Bhed were looking at. Nooj knew his father was very angry, because unlike Nooj and Eva, he hated even being in the same area that Al Bheds are in, but he barely noticed them…because all his attention was concentrated in frowning at his son, who couldn’t even do one excersise on his own.
One week later, and Nooj knew now that Auron had been proposed to by Eva, but he was still thinking about it. He was in the Djose Highroad fighting a Sinspawn they captured a while back, witch they realised for the new recruits to face off with, and Nooj knew he was probably the worst there was out of them, and thought his father sent the Sinspawn on them so Sin would come and deal with his son for good.
Nooj shook this clealy paranoid thought off, and his long, messy brown hair and his bandana fluttered in the wind. He got his Long Sword ready, and saw the bug like Sinspawn coming towards him, and he ran up to face it. This was his chance to make his old man proud!
He slashed at it, but it dodged and countered with a water spell, witch knocked Nooj to the ground. It pounced on him, but it was small enough to be kicked back by Nooj, and he stood up, with no time to wipe the mud off his already ruined, tatty, old Crusader uniform.
He laughed at it, knowing that was the way to distract himself from the dangerous fight.
“What they call you? Sinspawn Midget? Now where are the rest of my troop?”
He slashed at it, hitting it, and some green ooze poured out. It hissed violently, stood still, and started vibrating erractically. Now it was mad!!
Nooj stood back, as it prepared to use a poisonous moves. It took way too many potions and antidotes to get him better from the poisoning from the Chimera, he did not want to go back to that!
He leaped forward, and shoved his sword, right through the creature’s fat insectoid body, and impaled it like you would hold a of steak with a fork. He lifted up and laughed in it’s face.
“And you call yourself a Sinspawn? You got beaten by me…Nooj, the Failed Crusader!”
It hissed, and slid off his sword, lying there in a heap. Nooj tossed his sword in the air, caught it, and hummed a little victory fanfare. He then crouched down beside it, and was surprised when it leaped up for his face. He fell for an old trick.
Luckily, some Crusaders chasing after it came running towards him, and cast Drain on it, and it collapsed, turned grey, then evapourated into not-so-beautiful pyreflies.
Nooj hung his head in shame, and cursed himself as the people laughed at him. He would show them…he would show all of them…but from the Temple his fahter came…and his confidence plummeted again.
“Nooj!” He shouted. “I want a word with you!”
He followed is father to the Temple Inn, and they looked at each other for ages. Nooj looked at his father with dispair, and a face that begged forgiveness and sympathising, whereas Gilgamesh looked at his son like a man would look at the weakest of fiends…with hate and almost pity for such a dispicable, cowardly, and worthless creature.
After what seemed like a whole Calm, the awkward silence ended, and Gilgamesh spoke.
“Are you sure you are cut out for the Crusader business, eh son?” He asked with hope his son would give up and never see him again. He wished he could just excommunicate the “scum” with a wave of his hand, but Mika, Kelk and Jyscal, his fellow Maesters, would simply not comply, as there wasn’t enough basis for that, never mind Via Purifico!
“Father…I mean sir…I mean Gilgamesh…I mean Maester…I mean your holiness, I may seem so bad that even Mi’Hen would turn in disgrace in the Farplane, but I will keep trying till I get better. Practise makes perfect, as they say, and I will never give up, no matter how hard you want it!”
After this, Nooj’s face turned from pride at his strong words to fear that his father would lash out, as Gilgamesh’s face had gone red, and underneath his Warrior Monks’ helmet, was frowning like crazy.
Then suddenly, a young Warrior Monk burst in, a good firend of Auron’s but not as skilled…Kinoc.
“Sorry to interrupt your holiness, but Sin is reported to be approaching Besaid! The Crusaders there are calling for reinforcements!”
“Thank you Kinoc, your intrusion is forgiven…you are dismissed!” Gilgamesh ordered in a superior-than-thou way.
“Yes sir,” and Kinoc left the room.
“Son,” Gilgamesh addressed Nooj. “You know what you must do. Fail to do anything could, and you will be fired from the ranks of Mi’Hen’s army!”
Nooj was completely still and silent. He was afraid, but he couldn’t be. He must do this right.
“Yes…father…I will not fail you…” and he left the tent, and went for the docked ship.
“All aboard people!” Kinoc shouted. “To Besaid!”
“Yeah…and leave the Sinspawn to me!” Nojj laughed, but inside, he was feeling the opposite…cold, angry…but ready…
Kinoc was confused by this. This guy was a newbie, and he may have blood that suggested he would become something someday, he couldn’t stand a proper fight against Sinspawn all on his own!
But Kinoc didn’t say anything. If this kid was anything like his father, he would be stubborn. He would keep trying something again, again, until he died.
Nooj went onto the ship, and Captain and Pilot went as fast as they could…if they didn’t act fast Besaid would be in ruins. Even though all towns had been attacked by Sin before, Besaid being the least significant thanks to its small size, it was the Crusaders duty to do there best to stop Sin in its path!
The only Warrior Monks onboard where Kinoc and Auron, because Gilgamesh had realised the only Crusaders they had at hand where the “newbies” who were training on the Djose Highroad. Let’s face it, they really needed the help!
Nooj was getting impatient. He was walking around the boat and like a four-year-old, was asking how soon till they got near Sin. He did not want the Besaiders to suffer…well actually that was his excuse. The real reason was that he didn’t want the Besaid Crusaders to take this battle from him. Eventually he managed to settle down in the Lower Deck, until Kinoc came running down shouting Sin had been spotted. Nooj jumped up and smiled.
“It’s continuing towards Besaid like a man possessed!” Auron shouted as they came up onto the deck. “But it knows we are here, it’s not stupid. It’s sent Sinscale on us!” As soon as he finished this, he went to work dealing with them, but the more he cut back, the more came.
Nooj spat overboard thinking about his father, who hadn’t come, so his hands weren’t dirtied. What kind of an excuse for a Maester is that?"
Kinoc ran to the front of the boat, and ordered the others to do the same, as obviously Sin was in front. Nooj followed his orders, and struck a Sinscale in half. Despite this being a weak enemy, he was still glad of his quick thinking and easy win. He spoke to Auron as they continued fighting.
“Thought of an answer for our Eva yet?” Nooj asked the Warrior Monk.
“No…but right now I’m thinking it might be a dangerous life being married to me…”
“We live in Spira, Auron! We all live dangerous lives. Our mother died not all that long ago, and my Dad’s a Maester and I’m a Crusader! I think she has gotten used to heart-break and danger!” He sliced at some more Sinspawn.
“Yeah…I suppose…damn, these things just keep on coming and coming! We need to attack Sin! Get the harpoon!” Auron cursed after this and turned to Nooj as if to tell him to do it, but before he could, a Crusader called out; “Sorry, but the Sinscale has broke them!”
Auron swore again.
“Language, Auron!” Kinoc grinned. “The teachings of Yevon look down upon that! Anyway, we can do this! These guys have potential…and us…”
“No we don’t Kinoc, don’t lie!” Nooj snapped, actually panicking. “We don’t and my excuse for a Maester and a father was a fool to send us with you two as the most experienced!”
Another Sinscale jumped at Nooj, and Kinoc shot at it with his rifle, killing it.
“Don’t worry,” Kinoc spoke. “Have faith in Yevon!”
Nooj was about to say what he thought of Yevon, when a whole load of shooting broke out, aiming for the visible fin of Sin far in the distance.
Another, strange ship appeared nearby, with the top of it being led by a man with a whole load of messy blond hair and a gas mask blocking view of his face. His clothes were all ragged and eccentic, but they were better than the miltaristic clothes of the (surprisingly) boy in his early teens with blond hair down to his shoulders. His eyes were covered by goggles.
Everybody on the Crusader’s ship, as soon as they saw the flamboyantly clad fighters on the clearly machina ship, knew they were looking at a ship of Al Bhed’s.
“Al Bheds? You mean…that sure is a lot of Al Bheds! I thought they all died!” The ship’s Captian stated.
“Yeah…I heard they were scattered by an attack on there place by Sin!” Said a Crusader.
“Obviously not,” Kinoc stated. “Man I hate Al Bheds.”
Nooj wasn’t liking this Kinoc much (or Auron for that much, but he liked him more than Kinoc) because he seemed like a younger version of his father.
The older man leading the Al Bheds shouted something in a wierd language, then the ship turned to beside the Crusader’s boat. It was near enough for the people to talk to them.
“Yevonites!” The man said, surprisingly in the Common Language. “I apologise to oui…I mean you now that I only just learning your language. We are looking for a new Home you see, and we sighted Sin, and decided to come battle it. We hate Sin you know…destroyed Home…my sister too…”
“We can handle this fine Mr. Whatever Your Name is!” Kinoc shouted, and waved his rifle like a toy.
“Thought Yevonites didn’t use machina?”
“Shut up you! Who are you to question the teachings of the great and holy Yevon?” Kinoc snarled.
“I Cid, newly appointed leader of Al Bhed!”
While this was going on, no one noticed that a Sinspawn was attacking the Bridge…and Nooj slipped off after it.
As Nooj went near the wierd fish-like creature, with huge teeth.
“Hello smiley!” Nooj said, in an frightened voice. He remembered his “laugh at the enemy tactic” well, but was still fearing for his life. It was at this moment, he wished he had magic. He quickly prayed to Yevon, but he wasn’t even sure if that would help anymore, and went head-first right into the Sinspawn, as the Yevonites and Al Bhed bickered…and nobody noticed the shore of Besaid had came into view…Sin was way too close now…

CHAPTER 2: REVELATIONS

It was midday by then, and in Bevelle, Eva stood outside her quaint little house (quaint for the daughter of a Maester anyway), longing to hear Auron’s reply.
Sure they had been arranged to be together, and sure he probably didn’t feel as seriously about the relationship as she did, but that didn’t stop her enjoying herself, and wanting it to go on forever. Auron was apperently with her little brother (“Noojy” she used to call him, but they had kinda grew out of that, though she still referred to him as that in her head) on a mission to battle Sin. The worst type of mission. “Damn!” She cursed out loud, and thought about how stupid it was! Only Summoners can defeat Sin! Even by battling such a huge thing, are they really going to be able to fend it off without half there ranks getting decimated and butchered.
And out of the people in the world who had to be there, battling Sin in another suicide mission, it had to be her love, and her brother. Why couldn’t it be her father? She didn’t like him, but got on quite well with him, whereas Nooj and Gilgamesh were clearly mortal enemies.

At that precise moment, the large Sinspawn knocked Nooj to the side who hid some debris, and blood started coming from his head. Lucky Sinspawn are as dumb as fiends… he thought, because the creature thought he was dead, and went towards the others.
The young Al Bhed shouted torwards the Crusaders, and Kinoc turned on the spot and shot rapidly at the fishy thing like a man possessed. He ran out of ammo.
He cried; “Cover me!” While he reloaded his gun, and on cue, Auron lept up, and took his over-sized katana to it, and it cried in agony. then used a large watery spell on several Crusaders, knocking them off to an equally watery grave.
Kinoc was getting very angry now, and fired more shots, and hissed: “Al Bhed, why don’t you help instead of just watching, you idiots!” But they were occupied.
“Ignore what he says, Brother,” the Al Bhed man said to his young accomplace in Al Bhed. “Continuing firing the machina cannon at Sin!”
The dreaded whale like fiend seemed to barely register the sheer power hit it’s back, and didn’t even use a magic shield or anything.
Brother cursed in Al Bhed, and continued to load up the cannon for what seemed like the hundredth time.
Besaid’s beachy shore was extremely close now…
“Won’t this thing die?” Auron said as he continued hacking like a mad man at the Sinspawn, but it hit him, knocking him out, and flung him to the side. This woke him up, just in time to cling onto the boat’s edges.
“I’ll get you for that you…” Kinoc started as he loaded his gun and aimed, but it stopped, suddenly, fell forward, and gave out a screech of what sounded like a banshee, and as did that, a wierd black ooze squeezed out everywhere.
That was followed by it melting into pyreflies…and Nooj was behind it, smiling like an idiot, with blood all over his face. “Did…it…” and then he collapsed.
Auron clambered back on the boat. He had lost his sword in the fall, and stared towards Sin in terror.
“We have to do something…Maester Gilgamesh was a fool to send a bunch on new soldiers and us two to stop it. He was playing around with lives here!”
“Don’t say that about the Maester, Auron! You could be getting married to his daughter!”
“I’m not so sure about that anymore…most of our men are dead. I guess we’ll have to rely on the Al Bhed to help us…”
“No! Those airheads are going to hinder us!” Kinoc snapped.
Nooj stumbled to his feet, still feeling dizzy, and punched Kinoc in the face.
“Sorry sir…just trying to knock some sense into you. They’re all we have!” Nooj told him, then coughed some blood.
“Fine. I hope you know it won’t make me like them anymore than I currently do…”
“Who the hell cares, Kinoc? Are you going to risk the Besaiders’ lives anymore than all this talk is?”
Kinoc didn’ answer, but he suddenly leapt onto the Al Bhed boat.
“Follow me! That boar will be down soon!”
The few surviving Crusaders and Auron followed Kinoc onto the Al Bhed ship, and Auron waved his hand to indicate Nooj should follow.
Nooj wanted to, but was exhausted, and needed some healing bad. He fell onto his knees.
“Can’t…go on!” He mumbled. An Al Bhed saw him suffering and chucked him a Healing Potion, witch missed and fell into the sea. Nooj looked up and saw the Al Bhed. That moment he wondered why his dad despised them so. Okay, they did take up machina, but it is up to them the way they want to live.
Next second, the Al Bhed, had gone onto the boat.
“I am Gippal! This boat won’t last long! Come on!” He told Nooj in Al Bhed, but he just looked at Gippal confused. He didn’t even understand “Gippal” was his name.
Gippal just force-fed him a potion, and Nooj dived into the water, and Gippal went after him.
The young Crusader then remembered he had left his sword on the boat, but he didn’t care. He went up onto the Al Bhed, and Gippal wasn’t far behind.
“Give me a rifle!” Nooj snapped, and Brother passed him one. Nooj took to the front of the ship and aimed at Sin. “I don’t care if this doesn’t work…I hate this thing!”
Cid laughed. “I like your style sonny boy!” Cid used a large rocket launcher on Sin, and with the joint attacks, it started swaying, and let out an unearthly scream, and sent many Sinscale on them.
Auron took a machina pistol and he, Kinoc, Gippal, and many other Al Bhed started firing at them. Brother was using the huge cannon again and again at Sin, but it was useless.
A Sinscale impaled Gippal near the eye, but he just looked up with everyone else.
Sin had reached the Besaid shore, and stopped then violently sank into the water at high speeds then rose again, and the resulting tremor was so violent, even the ship was shook.
A couple of Blitzers were killed, but since the town was at the other end of the island, it was only affected by the sound and a slight shaking in the ground.
Sin roared and turned, speeding off in some other direction.
Nooj sunk to the ground, as the remaining Sinscale was fought off.
“Damn…” he shook his head. “Damn my dad. I’ll kill him! I will bloody kill him! He is responsible for this, but he’ll blame me! Damn it! I hate my life!”
Gippal came over.
“Don’t feel that way. I saw you defeat the Sinspawn. That’s why I helped you…because I felt you were needed to battle Sin,” he said.
“Wow…you…”
“I know. I learnt to speak your language a while ago. I wanted to train to join the Crusaders when I was older, but even though I had learnt to speak them, they did not except me for what I am. We are just like you Yevonites…we want Sin gone. For good. But do you think not using machina will really stop Sin from coming again an again?”
“I never thought that.”
“Now come on. Let’s defeat those Sinspawn before Sin comes back…”
“First you might want to see to your eye!”
Later that day, Nooj was back in Bevelle, and went into bed. He didn’t tell his Dad he was home, and told Eva to make the same lie. He wanted to run anyway, but he just didn’t have the courage.
Perhaps I could join the Al Bhed? Or many just rest somewhere… He thought, but then Gilgamesh came in the room. His helmet was off, his grey, thinning hair, looking messy. His face was surprisingly sad and only a little angry.
“I met Auron today. Kinoc was off recovering from the battle, apparently,” Gilgamesh started meekly. “Auron said despite the battle against Sin didn’t work, but you did very well…I suppose I am happy with you…but…”
Good, Nooj thought Auron didn’t mention the Al Bhed coalition. Father would freak out!
“What else did he say?” Nooj asked.
“He has turned down the engagement.”
"Auron did mention something about that. He said “It is too dangerous for her to get married to me,” Nooj lied. He knew Auron really did it because he didn’t like Gilgamesh anymore.
“Oh…I see…well I just told Eva. She is crying, so I’d leave her be right now…”
Right on cue, Eva burst in.
“Daddy!” She wept.
“What is wrong, honey?”
“I want you to excommunicate him…now!” She snapped.
Nooj looked on in astonishment. Uh oh…

A couple of points you may want to address: Get rid of the brackets and work the info there into the main text. Also try toning down the exposition in the “I know. I learnt to speak your language” bit.

The boy could use less angst.

Thanks for that comment. I’ll try to do that the best I can as soon as I have time. :moonwalk: I think I might also want to edit some typos.