Fixing up my writing...

Okay, a plea to all those that read my stuff. I’m trying to pinpoint flaws and annoyances in my work so I can make my upcoming fics better. So, can any of you help point them out?

Hmmmm… Well, I just finished reading about two pages of your new story, the Final Fantasy: Solid 2 thing. The thing I think you need to focus on is more sensory detail and what they’re wearing, how they’re feeling and the like. Use “bigger” words to describe your stuff, too. People seem to like that. (No sarcasm there.) And there were a few spots in that story that seemed to be jumping around. Like, when Cloud had just finished telling Butz people came on the ship, that could use more detail. Other than that, everything is so cool. Just keep going.