The royal family were highly respected in the city but the only reason they were respected was because they were the royal family. For one thing the king was an ugly man with yellow teeth and got grey hair at thirty and it was gone by the time he was 40 which is the age he is now he loved parties and beer and there was barely a time when he wasn’t drunk but he couldn’t be mind controlled because he was far too stubborn for his own good he was also very short and fat.

His wife on the other hand was a nymph called sapphire because of her skin and hair color which was blue she was 10,000 years old at least but her hair was still in it’s prime and she had no wrinkles on her clean face she was also in love with the jewel she shared her name with, she definitely loved them more than everything else especially her husband. She was a powerful mage but many people wondered why she married the king, most believe that she did it to become a queen.

The king and his children were in the pub and he was getting drunk as did his son a dashing boy of twenty he was as in love with parties and beer as his father was and as beautiful and magic powerful as his mother was. He also loved the sight of fine crystals and fine art. He had black hair and was a master duelist and was also good in a normal fight. Sadly much to his father dislike and his mothers to a lesser extent he looked like his uncle a cruel hearted man.

His daughter a woman of Twenty-one was sitting by herself when a servant spilt her wine on the woman “I I am s sorry eldermadle it wah was a a accident.” Stuttered the servant getting a cloth. He was in awe of her beauty everyone was her busty could light the darkest of places and her singing could change any heart to do what she ordered them to do. She was the most respected out of all the royal family and the most loved. She stood up her face wet and ran off to get changed.

A merchant who mistakes the wine for tears ran to follow her. He was she most obsessed with her. He wore a white and red turban with a white robe. He was very rich with a brown beard and long brown hair he was the head of the trading industry. He was not a very good warrior but most said he had the power to be the best but he was getting to old. He was all ready 32 and had no wife either so he could not even risk it.

As he followed her keeping his distance he came to a window and looked out of it and saw the solders of the king’s brother. The rhino men they called them for the horn on there helmets they only carried a shield their helmet and their swords. The swords were forged by the last dwarf himself so were the finest quality men could wield and many agreed the greatest ever. The rhino men were full of muscle but still had a brain that could do 90 cubed in a second. The merchant wondered if he should say his finds or go to his love. He walked to the woman.

I want insults I mean critism.

First off, the post wasn’t even an hour old, it’s not uncommon for people to not post in that time.

Second of all, and I’m being perfectly blunt, this is not a good story. Seriously, spelling and punctuation aside, you spent mno time describing the setting, the characters are really transparent and uninteresting and, quite frankly, stupid, and what little plot I could glean from this was just as bad.

Actually it’s a day old. And an hour. But sad to say I have to agree with you otherwise. Particularly about the setting.

Thank you for the imformation.