Eva is a sceeeerdy cat

I was at work tonight and half hour before closing, the mall’s MOST WANTED walked into my store. I had heard the stories, and had her description, because she hit up a utensils store last week (out of forks maybe?) and everyone was on high alert. So, she had been quiet for a week, so I was totally relaxed tonight and slacking, when she walked in and I almost pissed myself. For a professional shoplifter, she’s really not conspicious looking, wearing a bandana and having a ton of freckles on her dark face. Plus, she had lots of bags with her. As soon as she looked at me, I jumped up away from the computer and wondered over and over what the hell I should I do. So from the start, I played dumb, which came quite natural since I was stuttering, and quivering. She tried really hard to keep me occupied at the kiosk, asking me to find a jacket for her in size 20, and I vehemently denied having that size in stock while I kept trying to make a break for the phone to call security. Finally, she got fed up with me telling her that we don’t carry sizes that high (because I refused to go back to the computer and turn my back) and I told her I’d phone my associate to ask (and really call mall admin) and she got lippy, which made me almost faint. I tell you, I was SO terrified, because she’s a big lady, and I had never been in the situation before. If anything got stolen, it would have been on my shoulders. Well, I ended up calling security once, and then went back to her, watching her the whole time, and I said “Well I’ll look on the computer now” and find the thing in her size. To make up an excuse, I said “Oh we DO have it in large sizes…I’m sorry…I’m new here and I’m not familiar with the sizes yet” and she forgave me and called me dear. After a few questions regarding the layout of the store, she left, and I called mall security again. I walked out of my store and saw the woman just in plain sight…walking away. And no one fucking came to my store! I was on edge for 45 minutes…here we have one of the most notorious shop lifters in the vicinity and she gets to walk her ass out. When I closed up the shop, no one had come to my aid and I am still very frustrated because I was the last person who saw her and could have got her arrested. I called another women’s clothing store in the mall and told them to be on alert, but I guess it’s all that I could have done (other than phoning Mommy to come pick me up earlier than usual :frowning: )

Wow! I’m sure it doesn’t sound like much to you guys, but I wanted to share it. I wish I could have played Nancy Drew though, and got her captured, but some asshat security guy who didn’t pay attention to voice mail fucked that up. I can’t believe that!

Right now, I’m still kind of on edge. She was a biiiiig lady and I feared for my tiny little self :frowning: I don’t think she would have beat me up (and jeopardized her chances to come back and steal) but you can’t be too careful. Why can’t I work in some place cool like the EB games next door?! Grah.

What do you think she would have done if you just called the Security or whatever and told them (Loud enough for her to hear) that the notorious shoplifter was in your store and you needed them to come immediately?

I have NO idea…hit me over the head with her Dollarama bag?

Ahh, you could have opened a can of pwnage

I would have been kissing sky with how big she was. Plus, I was in pussy mode.

Eva in pussy mode? Hawt.

Most definately not THAT pussy mode…

Aw, please?

I’d like to redeem this free post coupon, please


What did you mean about it being on your head if something was stolen? Don’t you have a) cameras and b) a policy on what you must do if a known shoplifter walks into your store?

At the Flea Market where I work (hangs head in shame) I’ve caught two counterfeit $50’s to date. Was I forced to eat the cost to the company? No. We’ve had people try and hold up our ticket vendors (with the dinky keychain knives we were giving out as a promotion, no less), and are we obliged to stop them? No. Reporting this person should have been enough, in my not even close to humble opinion.

Furthermore, have you considered repositioning the computer so that you can use it without turning away from the merchandise? Some defensive Feng Shui could make things a lot easier for you.

Eva’s too much woman for you. She needs a man who knows he’s a manly man! She needs a Hades.

Coming from the man who wanted to be a woman. >.>

Coming from the man who pretended to be a woman. >.>

PretendED? Check my profile. I’m willing to bet it still says female.

Edit: I just lost that bet.

I thought Cala was talking about himself there, Hades pretended to be a chick too?

You need to work at one of those places that have shotguns underneeth the counters.


I was thinking more like 7-eleven

I’m friends with a pro shoplifter.
I never notice it when he takes shit. It’s always like christmas when we get back to my car and he empties his coat.
Recently he got over $50 worth from one walk through hot topic. They need to, like… get some sort of security.

Well, I was there, it’s my responsibility to report theft, which I did, but I was really really nervous. I’m sure she didn’t take anything, because it would have been kind of difficult to stuff a blazer in the bags she had (but one never knows) and no, we don’t have cameras. Not if one of those alarm systems that hug the door way, which is pathetic, considering the high quality of shit that is sold in the store. And our policy is phone security and twiddle our thumbs.

twiddles thumbs
7-eleven’s idea is soot at there feet, tell them to get out, if they don’t, it’s a 12-guage in the face.
It’s not actually that extreme, but I saw the guy behind reload his magnum one time.

Well if i did that I’d get fired, and then i wouldn’t be able to buy those cute dresses every payday. So I’d rather just freak out and try to get a hold of DAMN SECURITY and let them do it for me.