Eldest

May be the worst book I’ve ever read every page of in my life.

There are just so many things that are so wrong with it… someone must share my pain.

I heard so many awful things about this series that I’ve stayed far away from both books and movie.

The writing was okay, I guess. But I couldn’t take it anymore after Harry returned from his first run-in with the Dementors to find the Ring Wraiths had burned the Lars Homestead.

'Nuff said.

Is this the one with the main character who’s a teenage magician swordsman dragonrider half-elf jedi?

I never realized how much I love you before, GG. I realized the series was a complete rip of Star Wars long before I even finished reading the first book or heard anything online about it.

SE: Yes.

Hades should read Dark Tower >_>

Dude, I seriously can’t believe you’re wasting your time reading that junk. If you want good fantasy, go with Neil Gaiman or T.H. White. Hell, if you want epic fantasy, read some Jennifer Fallon. I highly recommend Wolfblade, although Medalon is the first of her first series in the same world, so pick either.

I don’t really like Fantasy in general. I’m only reading this series because I got the first book as a gift a few years ago and didn’t want to let it just sit there. I don’t think I’ll read the third one though… I’ve already seen return of The Jedi.

I have a Terry Goodkind book sitting here that I’m going to read next. I’m hoping it’s a breath of fresh air.

What kind of books do you like? I have pretty eclectic tastes, so I’ll probably know a few books in that area.

My only contact with this series has been through a critique, in which the reviewer goes through the books chapter by chapter and points out all the things that are wrong. I think it took me about ten hours to slog through that for the first two books, and then it was pretty much synopses of each chapter.

All I know about the third book is that in the first chapter, our Hero and his Sidekick (Roran, at the moment) watch a horrifying ceremony with self-mutilation and stuff, performed by some meanies. Then they watch the meanies chain a couple of slaves to the bloodied altar, and leave them as human sacrifices to the monsters.

Eragon and Roran conclude that the best course of action is to just go back to their friends, figuring that if the slaves are alive in the morning, the monsters aren’t around and it’ll be safe to continue. If the slaves have been horribly mutilated and chewed alive right off the altar, hey, the heroes will know that they have to be careful.

Are we supposed to, uh, like this Hero?

Weilla: If it was an antihero or something, then I can understand. But it’s pretty clear that he’s supposed to be a Hero with an “H.”

Also- do you have a link to that synopsis? It sounds quite entertaining.

Yeah, that’s one thing I don’t like about the hero. He has no regard for life, and all through the books it describes how disgusted he is at the loss of life he causes, even though most of it is gratuitous, soulless, and instantaneous. It’s almost like reading a story pitting two villains against each other, which sounds funner than it is when the only other protagonist in the book is his underdeveloped brother who also tends to solve problems by killing whoever made them.

I like historical fiction like Shogun and anything from that series, and contemporary if the characters are well written. Biographies bore the shit out of me, as do modern war stories, since modern wars are about running around blind and scared and waiting to die, and have nothing to do with character development. Romance is a big plus, but it has to be done right and there’s not a lot of error room.

I also want to read that synopsis.

This is actually all I really know about this series. It’s a funny read, and I’ve heard that the movie is quite worse than the book, but I can hardly fathom the difference being so big that the book would be interesting.

Oh yes, I’d find it really interesting if he was painted as an anti-hero, then it would be fine to have him do such things. Well, not fine, but… you know what I mean.

Here you go, the links to the book critiques are on the left. They’re called “sporkings,” as per fanfiction-criticism rules. The same person also tears into a few other books, like a Laurel K. Hamilton one. Gleh.

One interesting point the reviewer has about the series is “What has Galbatorix actually DONE?” Really, most of what we know about him being evil are people just SAYING he’s evil. Sure he killed all the dragon riders if I recall correctly, but since then he seems to have been building a working kingdom with fine infrastructure. What will happen to the society if the guy who’s been keeping everything working for over a hundred years, is suddenly plucked away? It’s not going to be pretty.

Hades: That’s tough, because I’m not a BIG history fan, but I do like I, Claudius" by Graves. It’s weird. I don’t like Rome, and I don’t like historical novels, but I do like I, Claudius." If you like ALTERNATE history, I recommend The Man in the High Castle by Philip K. Dick. On the more historical track, I’ve heard great things about Memoirs of a Geisha, although I haven’t read it for petty personal reasons (it reminds me of someone that I DESPISE- I’ll get over it soon).

Man. I feel bad for touting my eclecticness and you completely hitting my bad spots. I don’t hate historical fiction. I do hate most romance, but this is because most of them really do have horrible, horrible writing.

I loved Claudius, but I wouldn’t recommend it to Hades. It IS, in essence, a chronology of how increasingly crappier Rome gets through Claudius’ life. It’s got more biography in it than actual “novel” content.

And as a personal note: I like “romance IN a story”, but I loathe “romance AS the story”. I’m not saying that there are no good mainly romantic stories, not in the least, but they are incredibly easy to fuck over completely when the romance is the only thing that really gets focus. Cue in anybody’s complaints about Twilight, for a good recent example of what happens when you base something heavily on a relationship nobody gives a crap about.

Yeah, that’s the thing with romance. Most of my girl friends think I hate books like Twilight because they’re too lovey-dovey or something, but I just hate them because they’re bad. A lack of good romance in a novel actually disappoints me a lot.

I should tell you that my taste in books is the same as my taste in videogames. That doesn’t mean I like books based on games, but if you could find something that reads like a good RPG, but in a more developed way, that’s what I’d be into. I just like good stories about strong characters. The superficial content isn’t really that important to me. What matters is how I see it through the eyes of the characters.

And after thinking about it for a few minutes, I think I like fantasy novels a lot more than I realized. A lot of them are just so derivative though.

Also CC, I hope you see this before you post again, but I like historical FICTION. I don’t want to read a textbook. I’m not saying you thought that, but… I just felt like I should be more specific, since Memoirs hardly seems like it’s in the same genre as something like Shogun.

Shit, if that’s the case then my earlier recommendations (Fallon, Gaiman) stand. Hell, Gaiman is just a great storyteller in general, but if you like a story that would make a good RPG I’d recommend American Gods. The main character is a perfect example of an RPG protagonist without being derivative. The only thing I don’t like about him is his name (Shadow? Really?). If you don’t like American Gods, I’ll eat my own vomit.

I wiki’d American Gods and read the first sentence before closing it. I’ll definitely be reading this book.

SE, I read the whole article you linked to in one sitting. That was a massive repository of awesome.

American Gods was good.

And as long as we’re talking about Neil Gaiman, everyone should read Good Omens.