Yes, Same chicka. It’s kinda the reason I’m worried. She accidently has sex with her friend… Then she rides me hard, after only spending a week with me.
She still wants to be his friend after all he’s done for her (She’s suffering from Depression, afraid of losing those she cares for). Going all <i>Hung Gar</i> on his ass ain’t going to do either of us well. I’ve <u>suggested</u> to her that it’s best not to be around him for a while, let him spend some time away from her in the hopes that he finds someone else/lets go of the feelings.
Sounds to me like he was taking advantage of her (especially if she’s depressed, that makes her even more vulnerable). I say kick his sorry ass. However, there may of course be more to it, and since I don’t know any of you personally I can’t really make a fair judgement. However, if she gets even more depressed over this, he deserves to be sent flying.
I’d love to give him a good asskicking. He deserves it, but if I do do it and she still wants to be his friend, then I’m just the jealous ogre beating on her male friends. :s
Weiila lost for sounding just a tad too feminist for me to stomach.
Hypharse gets ten points for pointing out a retarded double standard.
Defectivesonydvd gets second place for pointing out the correct solution. It’s obvious you have a little crush on your friend DB, and that you’re distressed that she’d do something you might not have expected her to do, because you respect her. Sex is no big deal. People turn it into a big deal. Don’t worry about it. What you should worry about it making sure she does it with the right person >:DDDDDDD
Hades, Read the whole thread. I’ve admitted that we had sex. I’ve said that we’ve been talking about having a relationship together. It’s not just a crush.
You australlian fuck! You had me completely fooled!
Actually, since you’re Rud, I can give you the advice I would’ve wanted to give if I wasn’t afraid someone would be offended: Shut the fuck up and fuck her. GOD, man.
If there’s one thing I really hate its feminist bullshit. Blaming men for the world’s ills is fucking idiotic. People are responsible for themselves. In this situation, blaming the guy and taking the girl for being all innocent is as retarded as the islamic tendency to blame the woman and absolve the man (because that mentality is that the woman is at fault for being so tempting to the poor innocent man! That’s why women have to wear fucking burkas!). Role reversal :D. -_- HELLO??
The guy DOESN’T deserve an ass kicking. He did what almost any guy would do under similar circumstances. And she did what drunken bitches do under similar circumstances. He took advantage of her as much as she let him take advantage of her. The guy didn’t rape her. Therefore if it was consensual, that means she went along with it and did what it is people do when they fuck :P. If she didn’t want this to happen she a)wouldn’t have gotten drunk, although that’s a bad excuse and b)wouldn’t have fucked him. If she had had a bf and had gotten drunk and fucked her friend, she would deserve to be smacked HARD, so I don’t get what makes it so that she can use the drunk excuse for fucking her friend now. The only difference is that she doesn’t deserve to be smacked for fucking another guy behind her bf’s back.
This whole situation is nothing surprising and neither is her subsequent moral conflict. Going Hung Gar (I like that <.<) is what I’d do because I’m just unsympathetic like that. She fucked up and now she’s all “oh noes!” and is all flustered at the shit she’s gotten herself into. Its never the wrong time to do the right thing (ie tell the truth). I think the fact she’s in a depression right now is a good thing because if she can gather the balls to face what she’s done and do what it is she needs to do then it’ll help restore some self confidence and inner strength to get over her depression.
Aside from that , I wouldn’t move closer to have a relationship with her because she sounds like bad news.
Firstly, I want to say I’ve seen a few relationships in my day that started out with the drunken hookup. That is not always a bad thing.
Also, being drunk does not drastically reduce your standards. You still have them. I guarantee that you wouldn’t bang a 70 year old obese woman no matter how drunk you were.
Have you ever looked at a girl and said to yourself, “Man, after 4 or 5 beers, I’d hit that,”? I do that all the time. I bet that girl had already determined a level of drunkenness that she would have to reach to bang her friend. Then she reached it and he jumped on the opportunity.
The guy does not deserve an ass kicking, as much as you may be pissed off, Ruda. And neither does she. It was just drunken shenanigans. She’s not your girlfriend, right? It was just sport fucking. As long as that dude can handle just being a friend again, you shouldn’t have a problem.
And I’m a little disgusted by the female responses to this thread. Being drunk is not a get out of jail free card. You can’t say, it wasn’t me it was the alcohol. You are in control of your own actions. If you know that your judgement is poor when you’re hammered, then don’t get that drunk!
Alcohol is just a scapegoat so you can do whatever(whoever) the hell you want to do without consequences.
And you know what? I’ve been in this exact situation before. I had a drunken hookup with a friend who had told me she just wanted to be friends. Did I do anything wrong? No. Did I feel the slightest bit of guilt after? Hell no. It was as much her decision as it was mine. And we’re still friends. Its no big deal.
Hold on a second here. As much as I’m on the condemnation train, it’s going too far to say that the guy here is innocent. If I understand this whole thing right, he had clearly been told by here that she was not interested in this sort of thing. It is the height of irresponsibility that he’d conveniently overlook that when the opportunity to do so presented itself.
It’s like knowing that stealing a car is wrong. If you were walking through a parking lot, and saw a car that someone had left the keys in running, with the windows down, stealing it would still be wrong even though it would be very easy to do so.
Edit: And saying that “he only did what any guy would do in the situation” is a dirty thing to do. I actually felt my blood quicken when I read that, such things motivate my temper so. We can control our actions.
But he was drunk.
If you were in that exact situation (including the history the two had, and being drunk) you would do the same thing.
Of course, I’m sure you wouldn’t get drunk so it wouldn’t happen, but being drunk makes it really hard to control yourself.
Your car stealing analogy is wrong because stealing a car is always wrong and illegal. Sex is not wrong or illegal with consentual parties.
Think of it this way. Your buddy got a brand new 2006 Dodge Viper and he won’t let anyone drive it. He has told you before that he doesn’t want you to drive it. Then one night, you go over his house and he’s drunk. You say, “Hey, can I drive your car?” And he goes, Sure, and tosses you the keys. Is it wrong to take it for a little spin?
Whoah, hey now, this was no accident. Unless she was so drunk that her sense of balance was affected and she fell onto this dick. If she told you that it was an accident she either did it while drunk and regretted it and is trying to pass the buck, or passed out and was raped.
If she didn’t say it was an accident and that’s your own interpretation of this story you need to wake the fuck up.
DP: I would think long and hard about pursuing a relationship with this girl. It sounds like the risk of her “accidently” cheating on you is pretty high.
I think you are all looking too hard for a black-and-white formula that just isn’t there. Alcohol’s not an excuse, whatever you do while wasted is your fault for getting wasted in the first place. It wasn’t right for the guy to fuck her when he knew she didn’t want to, and it wasn’t right for her to get so plastered that she would agree to it.
So you’re left with a guy that should have been more gentlemanly and a girl who should have been smarter. Neither one is innocent but neither one really deserves to get kicked in the face either.
On a side note, I really don’t think she should be drinking alcohol if she has some form of depression. That will only make it worse, amplifying her mental issues.
In short, yes, in the same way it’s wrong for a big burly man to beat up an 8 year old elementary school girl and take her money. Either way you’re conciously taking advantage of someone in a pitiable state. Now, if, in your analogy, you didn’t know your friend was drunk, the this would not be the case. However, it is in the analogy and it appears to be in Drop Bear’s story.
:D. -_- HELLO??