Man, ever since day after the accident I’ve been pretty depressed. This blows, I feel like I have to do something, but there is nothing I really want to do. It just sucks. I thought I had been dpressed at times, now I know I wasn’t. I haven’t ever really felt this way before. I’m more sad now than when some of my relatives died. I guess it is just because i saw this all. I know I definitely wouldn’t be too upset if I had just heard about it (I’m sort of cold like that). Part of me wants to kill the emotion, but then I think about Equilibrium and remember as key line in it: “Without feeling, life is just a clock counting towards death” (or something like that. Also, Equilbirium sort of shows that all emotions are good, despite how abd they may make you feel at times. Damn, I know see what those that say that they are depressed feel like. I’m almost tempted to go work ddespite the fatc I wouldn’t be getitng paid and it’d cost me to go there and work (gas/food). At leas the image isn’t in my head constantly, despite being able to see clear as day when I remember it. I hope I get over this soon. This ntot he way I want to spend my vacation.
Exercise, even if you don’t want to. It will help you feel better, both because it will keep your mind off what’s bothering you and because your body will create whatever that chemical is that makes you feel happy.
Talk to people, hang out with your friends, find some activity you will enjoy. Doing nothing will just make you feel worse and worse. I say this with some degree of experience.
I’d say that’s entirely normal and expected considering the circumstances, I’m sure this thread is going to get a lot of posts suggesting things along the lines of listening to music and playing videogames, but there isn’t really much you can do I’m afraid.:too bad; You’re just going to have to wait it out, sorry Nick.
Well man, you’ll get through it. Just ride this thing out… what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger right?
Music is helping a bit (for some reason I’m really liking Aqua). I’ll play games, but I’m just sort of going through the motions, but don’t really feel like playing them. I was playing FFX-2 and died (which is fine), but I just can’t play it anymroe since it pisses me off. I still have 11 days before I have anythign normal and have stuff to do (like school and work). At sometimes I feel like I’m about to lose my mind. Damn this shit is annoying.
Well, I’m starting to get past depression, but I’m starting to become angry…VERY angry. I almost just want just trash somethign. Just completely fuck it up. Part of me wants to keep myself away from people since I don’t want my anger unleashed (yes, I’m that angry that I may not control myself as well I can normally and I have great self-control). I’m tired, but I don’t think I’ll be sleeping tonight. I need stress reliever. I’m so angry I’d punch anyone of you in the gut if you disagreed with me if we were face to face. I want to type my anger but I can’t think of a way that would not damage my computer in some way. I’m still mildly depressed, though. However, I’m almsot able to watch movies again (no action since they have car chases and you know what movie car chases are like). I was flipping through the channels and saw a scene from The Rock, it was a car chase. I almost wanted to throw-up. It just made me sick to my stomach and it offended me. Whew, at least this blew of some steam. Some. Maybe I should write a book or write something since typing this stuff sort of soothing. I jsut got a call from a friend and it helped. I’m sorry you all have to listen to me bable about this sort of stuff, but just typing it helps me a lot. Thanks for listening.
Writing about it may not be a bad idea. Maybe not necessarily writing to us, but just putting all your thoughts down on paper (or a computer screen) could really help, I think.
Originally posted by Sohee
Writing about it may not be a bad idea. Maybe not necessarily writing to us, but just putting all your thoughts down on paper (or a computer screen) could really help, I think.
yeah, one of my friends does that whenever he’s feeling down so maybe that can help you too. Me? I play Doom or commiserate with a despondent Max Payne.
And you like Equilibrium too? K-rad, yet another convert!
Originally posted by Merlin
[b]yeah, one of my friends does that whenever he’s feeling down so maybe that can help you too. Me? I play Doom or commiserate with a despondent Max Payne.And you like Equilibrium too? K-rad, yet another convert! [/b]
Convert? I liked once I saw it in theaters before oyu said anything.:hahaha; It’s a deep movie with kick-ass action. The problemw ith playing games is that if somethign doesn’t go well for me in the game, it pisses me off more (like I died and I jsut don’t want to play anymroe and feel upset over that). I talked with a friend for a bit and it helped. being home alone at a time like this sucks.
Do you have a punching bag? If so, go beat the shit out of it. It’ll let you work out some anger while also making you tired and occupying you. There’s not much one can do other than just occupy one’s time with this sort of thing.
Originally posted by Infonick
Music is helping a bit (for some reason I’m really liking Aqua).
The guys who sing “Barbie girl”?
It sounds like you are going through the grief process-
Shock (When it first happens, and you are still on the adrenalin high.)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
Depression (I don’t care anymore)
Acceptance (Moving on)
Originally posted by Devillion
[b]The guys who sing “Barbie girl”?It sounds like you are going through the grief process-
Shock (When it first happens, and you are still on the adrenalin high.)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
Depression (I don’t care anymore)
Acceptance (Moving on) [/b]
Yeah that’s them, I don’t know why.
For me it was like:
Shock (after awhile since it didn’t hit me for a bit)
Depression
And now Anger
Unfortunately I have no punching bag.
Originally posted by Devillion
[b]The guys who sing “Barbie girl”?It sounds like you are going through the grief process-
Shock (When it first happens, and you are still on the adrenalin high.)
Anger (why is this happening to me?)
Bargaining (I promise I’ll be a better person if…)
Depression (I don’t care anymore)
Acceptance (Moving on) [/b]
Doesn’t denial fit in between shock and anger? Or would it be considered the same as shock?
Its either denial or shock as the first stage. But judging from his posts the day it happened, he wasnt in denial.
Originally posted by Infonick
[b]Yeah that’s them, I don’t know why.For me it was like:
Shock (after awhile since it didn’t hit me for a bit)
Depression
And now AngerUnfortunately I have no punching bag. [/b]
go buy urself a punchin’ bag man. i have one, and it helps me release anger a lot.
too much depression will make u skinny… like me… heheh
The steps are different with everyone.
Keep singing happy boys and happy girls.
And rant away. It definately helps, considering the circumstances.
Music, writing, exercise… all good choices. I can’t play games or watch TV when I’m really emotional… there just isn’t enough to occupy my mind.
Talking stuff out with someone might also be a good idea. I don’t like sharing personal stuff with people I know IRL, but I have a great online support group. Sometimes strangers are the best people to spill your guts to. That being said, if you want to give me a call, just PM me and I’ll give you my number.
Originally posted by Kero Hazel
[b]Music, writing, exercise… all good choices. I can’t play games or watch TV when I’m really emotional… there just isn’t enough to occupy my mind.Talking stuff out with someone might also be a good idea. I don’t like sharing personal stuff with people I know IRL, but I have a great online support group. Sometimes strangers are the best people to spill your guts to. That being said, if you want to give me a call, just PM me and I’ll give you my number. [/b]
Thanks, I appreciate it. I REALLY appreciate your being willing to give me your number. It means so much that you are willing to get that personal with me. I’m just trying to spend time with my friends, especially the ones that I was with when we saw the accident or were in it.
My friends are all expressing our feelings in other ways, but talking about it and the accident really help. Right now the doctors and parents are trying not to overwhelm the girl in the hospital so I haven’t been able to see her yet, btu I did go down there today (just got back actually). I saw her sister, met her parents, drew some posters for her, wrote some cards. At the funeral or later this week I’ll probably meet the guy who died parents. My anger has subsided a bit, and it is becoming more focused and centralized (mostly at the driver, despite him being a good guy). The only bad part is that I can’t tell too many people I hate him now, since he is my best friend’s cousin and a friend of mine. I also don’t want to upset anyone. Like today one of the guys that almost came with us (he had work so he couldn’t) name was the same as the driver and when I heard he was coming I got sort of pissed, I didn’t express, but I felt it and hoped something would come up and he wouldn’t come. It turned otu to be a different guy so I was happy to find that out. Then tonight my friend was taking with his cousin and had everyone say “hi” over the phone, I didn’t.
In a couple of weeks, the guys that went up to Joshua Tree and saw the accident might go up and try to thank the people who lived around there and maybe lay are cross or some flowers. Then also enjoy some hikes and stuff aroudn there, but no rock climbing like we usually do. It’d sort of be like finishing that day and getting over a possible fear of the area or preventing one from arising.
The funeral will be a bit rough just because the driver will be there, which I think he should be and has a right to, but I’ll still want to fuck him up. Although I’d look down on him if he didn’t.
One thing that will be rough and interesting to see will be when the girl in the hospital finds out about the death since he was her boyfriend. She is still in critical care, but should be out next week. Also not getting to go to his funeral will hurt a bit. It sucks that she is having a little bit of memory problems though. She was told about the accident (she was told that she was the only one hospitalized to tell the truth, but not tell her about the death while she is still sort of bad). However, she’s had to be told about the accident twice. The doctors said that this is normal though so we’re not too worried. It sucks and is sort of depressing to hear about her memory. It’ll hurt to see her not remember stuff and people though. It’s probably just temporary and the drugs she’s on are probably part of the reason.
I don’t think it’s unreasonable for you to hate the driver. Just don’t punch his lights out… I’m sure he’ll forgive you for how you feel towards him. In fact, I’m willing to bet that he’ll feel so bad, it might make him feel better to have someone place some blame on him. I realize that sounds cruel, but it’s done in psychotherapy.
You might find some parallels in this one situation from a book called “Macroscope”, by Piers Anthony. You might want to pick it up after a couple months have gone by. It’s a good read anyway.