Curse thee, plotbunny! (Those not Chosen parody)

And curse thee Poke for invoking the bunny! A pox on both your houses!
But this one is gonna be SHORT.
Mild spoilers for Poke’s “Mirror, Mirror”, but I’m not giving too much away.

<u>He gets no, I repeat, NO respect</u>

The air fizzled. The surroundings fizzled. Heck, even the ground fizzled.

It was probably due to all the lava. Or because of one creature’s seething rage.

“Aww, will you stop being such a grouch?” a female voice said.

There was a strange bubbling sound in reply, which for a moment overpowered the noise of flaring, cracking, melting rocks.

Sciel stretched out on the red hot ground beside the lava pool, letting a yawn of delight escape her pale, full lips. Despite this, her looks fell back into a slightly concerned one - for a carmilla at least - as she settled again. She propped herself up on an elbow, adjusting into yet another seducive position.

“You know, you really need to get a grip, sweetie,” she continued, absentmindedly plucking at the straps of her pitch-black bikini - as if it could POSSIBLY become any more revealing.

“Blurp, bubble, blurp!”

Small bubbles in the flowing lava joined the bigger ones before Rakadra’s face as he growled. Or at least before what could be seen of his face since he was submerged to half his nose. The eerie eyes were needlethin, heatedly glaring at the boiling air.

“Okay…” Sciel said, now playing with a lock of hair that enticingly had fallen down over her throat, “so we lost…”


“Yes, yes, I’m not exactly pleased either. But there’s no use in just moping away like you’re doing, either.”

“Blurp?” he snorted.

Sciel thoughtfully carressed her own lips with a finger.

“Why don’t you get a girlfriend or something?” she suggested.

Rakadra sat boltright up, spluttering out a mouthful of lava.



In the Beast Kingdom, Beast King - to his subjects’ and most of all his own amazement - fell down a stair.


Kevin suddenly petrified, the glass of water he had been raising falling out of his hand to shatter against the floor in a chaotic mess of transparent materials and liquid.

“What is it?!” Lise exclaimed in surprise, her chair hitting the floor as she rushed to her feet.

“Dad!” Jason called.


“Beast King?!” several rather shocked beastmen and women called as they came dashing from all directions to aid their fallen leader.

Beast King had fallen down a stair! This could only mean the end of the world…

The great beast stood, shaking his head for a moment of disorientation. Then he growled.


“I suddenly felt a bottomless horror…” Beast King and Kevin, unknowingly, said simultaneously.


“What does that… WHY?” Rakadra meanwhile coughed, punching his own chest to get rid of the drops of lava he had inhaled.

Sciel broke out of the admiring of the rivulets of molten lava slowly sliding along the half-blood’s muscular torso and legs, slipping over the black swimming trunks.

“Well, for as long as I remember we’ve been saying that Kevin was your bounty,” she said, “so by that logic Jason wouldn’t be YOUR problem.”

“He’s not my problem, he’s the figurehead of my rage!” Rakadra snarled, flexing his wings angrily which sent red, burning drops flying, “I want to see him burn, writhe in agony, his little body…”

He went on and on, hardly listening to Sciel.

“See, this is what I mean. Your parents knew no joy like the one of plotting their prisoners’ torture and the demise of their enemies, together.”

She sat up, thoughtfully studying the flexing muscles as Rakadra clawed at the air during his rant, his thrillingly long, sharp nails slicing the clouds of heat. The forked tongue danced between his lips, oh so sexy wings bellowing enticingly. Mmm…*

“It’s such a waste that you’re single, it’s all I’m saying,” she said, then tilted her head thoughtfully, “or do you just swing the other way?”

“… While Kevin begs for mercy in the backgr- WHAT?”

Rakadra stopped dead, for a couple of seconds blinking, dumbfounded at the carmilla’s surveying gaze. After a while he caught up and blew out an impatient cloud of charred air between his lips.

“No!” he snapped, more irritated at her persistence than anything else.

She looked rather miffed at first. Only later did “Rakky” realize that he had just killed off her biggest excuse for why he wasn’t head over heels for her.

*(crying) Oh it hurts! It hurts to write it!

What’s a pox on both your houses a reference too. It sounds like something was making fun of a line in romeo and juliet when they said it.

I was sending a pox onto the evil little plotbunny, who hops around and throw exploding plot-eggs at people who already have their hands full of other projects. And a pox for Poke since he was the one who gave the bunny this plotidea >_>

Hehehe! This looks promising.

Doesn’t it seem wierd that what seems to be a sex demon is looking to get married? laughs

Originally posted by StarStorm
Doesn’t it seem wierd that what seems to be a sex demon is looking to get married? laughs

Must be desperate… :hahaha;

Oh now, I wouldn’t say that… :mwahaha:
This part is raw, straightly quoted from my notes. So there might be some mistakes. :stuck_out_tongue:
And hey, note that an ongoing theme here is “heat”. I get warm just writing about it ^^;;

Right at that moment he was too angry to care about what she really was thinking, beyond the rate of aggression.

“I don’t have time for this!” he snarled and turned around, stalking across the surface of the lava.

He cursed under his breath as he reached the other shore only to realize that his shirt and pants had turned to ashes, leaving him with the swimming gear. Grunting he flapped his wings and took off into the eerie, flowing sky.

“And Sciel!” he shouted over his shoulder just before disappearing out of sight, “this is not a challenge, so don’t even think about it!”

“Yes, yes, I understand…” she murmured.

She laid down on her back again, lazily bending her left leg and hanging the right one over the bent knee, waving at the “sky” with her toes.

Hmm, this sure was a challenge!

She had no particular interest in Rakadra herself - not more than in anybody else. One like her was just too good to be set on just ONE, of course. Mmm, but it really WAS a waste to leave Rakky alone. The more she thought of that, the less she could stand it.

After all, she had a responsibility too! Schree had - theoretically at least, it was a bit hard to be sure - been a distant relative! 'Sides, Rakadra’s human blood made it rather easy for him to open portals to the human realm. The demons couldn’t risk that he’d drop dead all of a sudden and rob them of that advantage.

The carmilla gracefully got to her feet and left the pool to go looking for possible huntresses. She cackled at the thought of how angry Rakadra would be when he found out.


“He’s not that much of a challenge when it comes to the gist of it. The problem is however that the obsession he’s got about Beast King’s son and grandson clouds everything else in the darling’s head.”

Sciel smiled and delicatedly sipped from the smoking little bowl she held between all her fingertips. It might be best not to wonder about the contents.

“Ooh, an obsession…” the hoarse voice of Arachne cooed to the carmilla’s left, “that dear just keeps getting more and more putrid.”

She paused and raised all of her six arms to inspect her handiwork. An intricate net, hardly visible in the everchanging air, hung between her claws.

“To put poison or acid on this one, hmm…” she absentmindedly thought aloud.

She lowered her work again and reached out the upper right hand for a bowl on the black table for herself.

“I remember him as a baby,” she went on with a nostalgic smirk, “wouldn’t sleep unless he got to chew on a piece of a beastman’s lung.”

“Lung?” Tricla repeated, raising the scales above her eyes. While she said this she straightened up from having checked on the black chalice on the ground beside her throne. Poison trickled into it from her scorpion tail, which hung over the chair’s armrest.

“What did you expect?” Sciel snickered, “Schree wanted the hearts herself.”

“Ah, of course. Silly me.”

“So, anyway…”

Sciel leant back, resting her cheek on two fingertips.

“Rakky boy is quite a special case,” she continued, “we’ll need to set him up with somebody suitable for a warrior of his caliber.”

“Mm,” Arachne nodden, claws clicking while she weaved, “somebody powerful, considering him being what he is.”

“Let me see, one of Jagan’s finest and resurrected with his enemy’s blood? Impressive…” Triclaw murmured with an intrigued smirk.

“Yes, so he’s truly a force to be reckoned with,” Sciel nodded, “as I say, it’s a waste of talent for him to obsess with revenge only.”

“Isn’t he rather desired?” the scorpio of the three pondered.

“Oh sure! But he never had the patience for a longer relationship, and it seems there has been no heir from his quickies.”

Sciel paused and scratched her hair.

“Well, it’s not that much of a surprise really, he’s not a gentle one even for a demon…” she added with a cruel chuckle, “but in either case, he just haven’t had any longtime flame, somebody who’s survived him so to speak.”

“Ooh, makes me all giddy just to think of all that passion bundled up in a package like him,” Arachne giggled in a hiss, making the whole net tremble, “the mercilessness is so becoming that it thrills even me, ancient woman that I am!”

She suddenly sobered and sighed, however.

“But yes, as you said… for that reason I doubt that I can provide any help, Sciel dear. My little darlings have a bit of a problem with Rakadra. Not in the good way, mind you.”

“Aww, and here I was thinking that a bit of ranger skills would be good for his bloodline,” Sciel frowned, “what happened?”

“Well, you know how we are, defendant of siblings and… it was one of my younger daughters you see, an incident…”

She bent forwards, conspirational. The other two followed.

“She should have known better, true, but she couldn’t help herself the poor little darling,” Arachne said in a lower voice, “being one of us… she tried to bite his head off, you know… afterwards. Well…!”

She straightened up and continued in a normal tone, while her companions cringed in sympathy:

“One have to understand her, him being such a stud and all. But you see then, dear.”

Sciel nodded.

“Oh well… no traps for him then.”

She sipped, thoughtfully.

“So… Tricla, you got anything hot on your side?”

The scorpio demonette, who had seemed lost in thought for a while, perked up at those words. And her stonehard, cracked lips parted in a fangy grin.

“If you put it that way my dear, I think I have JUST the thing for your little half-breed.”

She clapped her crabclaws together, creating a sound similar to that of two huge maraccas clashing.

A flash of darkness shot up from the table, and in the black flames that remained a shape could be vaguelly seen. As Tricla nodded it became a bit more focused.

“A bit of a mix herself, as you see,” she proudly said, “her father was among those who opened the gates back in the fall of the Light Kingdom. A fast, proud one, this.”

“Ooh, lovely!” Arachne cooed, enjoying the disdainful look she got from the central figure.

Sciel gave the new demonette a measuring look from head to… ehm… “toe”.

“Mmm,” the carmilla finally said, “she looks strong enough to survive him at least. But I’ll believe it when I see it.”

“She’s worthy of a chance then?”

“Of course. It won’t hurt any of us if she tries,” Sciel smiled.

“My sentiments exactly.”

Yeah, I know…
I’m evil for giving Weiila an idea like this… :stuck_out_tongue:

But she’s the one that game the idea in the first place… After reading my fic… Which I started writing because I had read “Those not Chosen” too much… Which Weiila wrote because Square created SD3…
So I blame Square… Wich doesn’t exist anymore. It’s SquareEnix now :stuck_out_tongue:

(See, I told you I wouldn’t be able to stay away that long… :stuck_out_tongue:
But anyway, I’m gone again now…)

Well, I don’t know how your preferences are, but Rakky is starting to scare me. Gallo, this is for you, if you even read this :wink:

The scorpio turned back to her disciple and smiled.

“Say, would you like to mate for life with one of the most famous demons there is?”

The younger demonette crawled off the table, her two tails still slipping over the dark stone long after the main body had hit the floor.

Orange and red scales angrily reflected even the faintest speck of warped light, and it was difficult to tell whether her hair was… hair… and not part of the scales on her back.

On the front, she was humanoid from the waist and upwards - her clothes were nothing but a piece of rolled up, black net that just barely covered her breasts.

Claws similar to a cat’s drummed against the table as she spoke.

“With ‘a bit of a mix’, you weren’t hinting at that Rakadra, were you?” she hissed.

“You are quite insightful, dear,” Sciel smiled.

The naga’s thricesplit tongue impatiently thwirled between her lips.

“That useless deadweight?” she snorted, “he’s had more than three chances to kill his mortal enemy, and he failed everytime!”

“Now, now…” the carmilla said, though the memory of some of the latest screw ups made her snicker slightly, “he’s been a bit rusty lately, yes. But take his past victories in account.”

“Indeed, he’s more than a failure, Nagia dear,” Tricla nodded.

But the younger demonette scoffed.

“The faroff past carries no importance when more recent events are accounted for. I shall accept no male as weak as him,” she snorted.

Sciel’s entire collection of teeth showed in her huge smirk upon those words.

“Then go challenge him, won’t you?” the vampire lady suggested, “you might be surprised… on the same tangent, I doubt that Rakadra would be interested in any weak females.”

Nagia’s scales flared up in even angrier hues at the insinuation, but she controlled herself and merely snorted.


Turning around she flexed her claws at thin air.

“I’ll bring you that looser’s head and then force him to be my servant after he’s resurrected!”

And with that she disappeared in a roaring, black flame.

“What a lovely attitude!” Arachne almost squealed, clasping her middle hands, “you simply MUST train some of my babies, Tricla darling!”

“Why certainly dear, it would be my pleasure,” the scorpio smiled.

Sciel sipped her drink, then sighed slightly and leant back with a thoughtful expression.

“Too bad about Nagia though,” she said, “I’m sorry about that, Tricla dear. I’ll ask Rakadra for a drop of blood later on so that you can resurrect her.”

“Oh, think nothing about it, dear, it’s only healthy!”


Orange and red scales littered the ground like burning snowflakes, spread over the splashes of dark blood that plastered the closest surroundings.

Unfeeling green snake-eyes set in a human face stared wide at the face before them, though they were already filling up with the mist of death.

‘Oh I think… I’m in… love…’ was Nagia’s last thought before the depht claimed her.

Rakadra pulled his hand free with a swift movement, ripping out the demonette’s heart in the process.

Her body slumped to the ground and dissolved before his feet.

“What was that all about?” Rakadra thought aloud.

As he considered it, maybe Sciel had something to… nah, he had told her not…

His train of thought hit the brake and evaluated for a moment.

‘… Nah, she wouldn’t send anything this blunt, not her style,’ he finally decided and took a bite from the purplish heart in his hand, as if it had been an apple.

Not even bothering to wipe the dark blood from his face he turned and began wandering off from the scene of battle, the dripping, still hot trofy still safe in his grip.

‘Put up an alright fight though. Wouldn’t have minded, but if she goes about it by attacking me she had it coming.’

He smirked, blood escaping the corner of his lips and dripping over his shirt.

‘Fiery little thing, but it sure takes more than that to bring… now what?’

He stopped and turned his head, scanning the surreal area suspiciously. It was impossible to see very far in the ever changing, cloudy world, but he could feel that somebody was somewhere nearby.

The feeling disappeared almost instantly as he began looking around, but he wasn’t one to doubt his senses.


Well, the logical conclusion was that whoever it had been, had taken off. Probably another attacker then, who changed their minds.

‘Too bad really, a liver would have been a nice dessert.’

Rakadra started walking again, heading off to mind his own business. Unaware that he was STILL being watched, by a being who wrung her hands in exasperation.

The mating rituals of demons are wierd.

Tell me about it facepalms What am I DOING?!

Another theme I could never be able to write about… ^^;
Oh well, I’m not sure I’d want to either. This is a bit too weird for me. :stuck_out_tongue:

Looks good, although this part creeps me out a bit.

Not to mention the plotbunny is trying to get Rakky’s future daughter and Jason together…

Originally posted by StarStorm
Not to mention the plotbunny is trying to get Rakky’s future daughter and Jason together…

Over my dead, bloated body.

Hmm have a bizarre Romeo and Juliet plot or Weiila dead…

takes a sniper rifle to the plotbunny

Tricla sighed as she felt her disciple’s spirit go poof.

“And that’s the first end of her,” the mistress announced and reached for another drink.

“I’m sure she gave him a decent fight though,” Sciel said in a lazily comforting manner while chewing on an unspeakable snack.

The scorpion nodded but muttered:

“First lesson after her resurrection will be step one of attacking patterns though.”

“You aren’t worried about him finding out that you were behind the attack then, Sciel dear?” Arachne asked.

The carmilla shrugged.

“Not if she gave him some practice without drawing blood. He gets cranky when he bleeds, the little darling. As long as he doesn’t get a lead to me, there’s nothing to…”

She got cut off by a sudden call.


“Hmm?” Tricla said, looking up and to her right.

From the shifting nothingness burst a seemingly endless flow of yellow and orange, forming a less fuzzy shape beside Tricla’s throne. The ending result was tower of scales and muscles, upon which rested an at least partly human upper body.

For a moment it seemed almost as if Nagia had come back to life, until one realized that this naga’s scales had a lighter color, and that her long snake tail was in one single piece.

“Hello Slither,” Tricla said with a welcoming smirk, “about Nagia, it was lord Rakadra. I recommend caution in his case, darling.”

“That’s what I thought!” the snake demonette triumphantly grinned, though she was wringing her hands nervously - which almost made her cut her own fingers off with her claws.

The grin revealed fang upon fang and definitely deserved the label “worrisome”.

“I saw it, how he killed my big sister!” she continued, “it… he… I…”

She fumbled with the words, stuck in the fresh memory being replayed in her head over and over again.

“You are going to annoy him into a state of berserking, I can tell as much already,” Sciel declared, casually spinning her little bowl to stir the stagnating content.

But the interrested smirk that followed upon her degrading words hinted at that she rather liked that idea.

And so did Slither, if one dared to read her beaming face.

“That’s one of her specialities,” Tricla offered, “but there’s more to it than that.”

“I’m only annoying in the start to catch them off guard,” Slither assured, letting her hands fall to prove that she wasn’t loosing her head completely.


Sciel nodded thoughtfully.

“But when it comes to Rakky,” she said, “I would advise you to skip the irritation and aim for the throat. If you want to live through a flirt, that is.”

“Thank you, lady Sciel,” the naga said, bowing her head briefly, “I will give it a try. Even so…”

She sighed, gaze wandering off into the air in a daydream.

“Such a gory death, too… I could live with that.”

And with that she snapped her fingers and disappeared in a black flame.

“I believe that we’ll need more blood from Rakadra,” Arachne chirped, her claws merrily clicking against each other.

“Oh, I don’t know…”

Tricla sipped her drink with a chuckle.

“Slither has a speciality that might catch his interest. Provided she doesn’t anger him too much first.”

“Kids these days!” Sciel muttered and reached for another snack from the cage on the table, “never listening to their caring superiors…”

I didn’t know demons were capabale of caring about other things. OF course in extreme cases…

I can portray demons as selfish, lustful, violent, greedy, treacherous… but CARING?! Does not compute!:noway:

Well, Rakadra’s base reason for hating Kevin was that Beast King and Kev’s mommy killed mr. Nasty’s parents. And I wrote Jagan as really damn pissed at Rakky getting killed. Might just have been practical reasons of course, but still.
And I want a title for this thingy. And for some reason I have this fixed idea that it should be a quote from a song (I’m leaning at “Ready or not, here I come, you can’t hide”, but after readng so much GodAwful Fanfiction I don’t know if I can use the word “come” in ANY situation ever again. Ugh!). Hmm, ol’ “Viva la Diva” from the Eurovision songcontest does have a good ring to it (sung by a woman - who was born a man, mind you. Oi). Other suggestions? cackles

Okay, now let’s torture Rakadra!

Rakadra’s feet made contact with the everchanging ground and his lizard eyes scanned the land before him. Or the gap, rather.

The nether was a confusing place of no rules of land that went for stable worlds, but some things were excluded from the everchanging dark mist that only demons could find their way through.

For example, this ravina.

It spread out from horizon to horizon - this being one of the few places in this world where one even could TALK about a horizon - and its complete void was almost too great for even the demons to fathom.

Rakadra reached out his left hand, pressing the pointing and middle finger against each other while clenching the other fingers without much force. Quickly he drew a few mystical signs that momentarily burned against the air’s foreground of the eternal blackness of the ravina, while he muttered under his breath in a guttral voice.

A whispering sound came from the ravina and a shapeless shadow arose from it, seen only because it had a lighter color than the depth.

Rakadra sat down on one knee, holding out the half-eaten heart of the unfortunate naga. Dark blood still dripped from it and covered half his underarm.

“Master Jagan,” he said.

A hand and arm, skin as pale as ashes, reached out from the shadow, grabbed the heart and retreated back into the lighter darkness.

Moments passed.

“Fine for a snack, I suppose,” the old vampire’s voice eventually came from the shadow, “what would a naga want with you, though?”

“I was wondering that as well, but I suppose it isn’t that important,” Rakadra said, shrugging.

“Nothing you can’t handle, no,” Jagan agreed, then took on a more serious tone, “how fare the new plans?”

“We’re still too exhausted from the last two attempts,” the half-breed growled with an angry shake of his head, “and the decline of magic isn’t helping either.”

The destruction of the Mana Sword and the fall of the Tree had been strategically good - if it hadn’t been for the fact that the demons had been among the loosers of the evil armies. If the Dragon Emperor hadn’t been defeated by the Mana warriors, there would still have been enough magic in the world left for the underworld to launch a massive attack by this time. They had tried with Rolante under Teron Gorefiend - it could have been a start of revenge and a way of accumulating a stable hold of the world with less clean rites - hadn’t things gotten out of hand as they had done.

Rakadra preferred not to think too much of is less he’d pop more vessels than he could afford. He had already had plenty of reasons to hate the inhabitants of Rolante before those events. Two versions of Kevin and Lise, not to mention one Jason - which was more than enough (twitch!) - was a little more hatred-worthy than even he could handle. As satisfying as some things of it had been, the ending result…

He shook himself free before he started chewing froth again.

“We’re doing our best,” he said in a low growl, “worry not, the next atte- <I>wha</I>?”

The last word was caused by the two sudden flares of burning heat that swept forth below both his jawbones from behind. There was a low click and the heat was gone again, all during the time it took to exclaim “wha”.

Rakadra spun around, but there was no one in sight.


He looked down, still trapped in the surprise.


Ah, one of these days I really have to take an afternoon off and start going through the fic archive and the media forum. This is looking interesting, and I really should catch up on my reading.