Crab Cake Story for Crab Day

:crab: :crab:

Hello everyone. To celebrate Crab Day I will tell a brief but amusing story related to crabs. As you may or may not know, I visited Baltimore in May to see a music festival. And what do ya know but Mr. Compost lives there… or was it Loki the Angsty God? Whatever. We will call him Mr. X for now to keep his identity secret. I met up with him and walked around the city. I heard of Maryland’s famous crab cakes so our friend Mr. X led me to the Lexington Market (ironically I led him there actually, what a lousy host). I ordered a lump crab cake with greens and coleslaw. I wanted it real authentic like. My friend Mr. X purchased some crab bisque.


Here’s the funny part.


Well as it so happens, this particular hole-in-the-wall gave you your food before you paid for it. I was so used to paying for things before I get them that I walked off with my crab cake meal. I was at a bench beginning to eat it when I looked over to see Mr. X talking with the employees, both of whom were looking in my direction and gesturing. Then I realised I hadn’t paid!! Silly me. So I paid.

That’s about it. Maybe one day I’ll tell you about what I found in Mr. X’s car… and what it was indeed!!

:crab: :crab:

If you tell them what you saw in “Mr. X’s” car, Mr. X will kill you. Dead. Happy Crab Day!

Is that a threat being corresponded through via Mr. X? It’s a good thing the person I’m talking about doesn’t post on these forums or else that would be considered a violation of RPGCrab Day charter.


Article VI Section III of the RPGCrab Day Charter reads: “One who attempts to slander another Crab Day Celebrant is subject to trial by ordeal or duel in order for the other party to defend themselves.” Mr. X is an exceptional duelist.

Look, buddy. I know Mr. X. He sucks at dueling. I got three or four blisteringly annoying phone calls from him crying about when he flunked his fencing exam… don’t give me that crap, buddy. I can bring it if Mr. X (you-know-who) can pay for my flight to kick his ass over there.


I will take the train down, acting as both duelists’ second.

Mr. X has deposited money from his Swiss Bank Account into yours. You have 48 hours to get to the Dueling Location.

Mr. X accepts Arac’s proposal.

So somebody want to explain, once and for all, the whole story behind crab day?

Alright, Mr. X better be in for an ass kicking!!! I’ll be down there soon enough… didn’t think I would have to fly a plane across the continent to teach some idiot a lesson.

Only a newbie would ask that question.

Also, another rule in the RPGCrab Charter: Thou shall not discuss Crab Day before or after the day itself.

I’m a newbie in spirit :slight_smile: