You know what? I had a nice update all ready to go. Then I decided to hold off until I had found a topic for my next essay. When I opened another window and opened the damn journal search engine, the update was erased. For that reason, I cannot update for at least a few days, until I have some fucking clue as to what I’m supposed to fucking do here.
…College sucks.
That sucks cause this? This rocks. << Also, I’ve been hearing that a lot about college lately. Damn you putting me off!
The battle against the chibi RPGCers was long and grueling, an absolute epic on scale with the final battle in the Lord of the Rings movies. Blood was spilled liberally, with hateful curses and massive explosions erupting every which way. Mere seconds before someone was actually killed, however, El Santo jumped into the middle of the fight, pulled off a bunch of shoulder throws, and managed to get all the chibi RPGCers into a corner due to his sheer wrestlingness.
“Okay, they’re all in place now,” said Heaven’s Soldier. “Now can someone tell us why an evil corporation would want you kidnapped?”
“They wanted to use us in an advertising campaign,” said chibi Heaven’s Soldier. “They thought they could market child versions of this world’s RPGCers for some reason.”
“Corporate greed,” sighed Glenton. “You just HAVE to admire them at some level.” Chibi Glenton gave his adult counterpart a high five, while the rest in the room looked on in a mixture of disgust and confusion. “…He’s one of the heroes here?” asked Young Wil.
“…No, we just blackmailed him here by showing his few acts of kindness and goodwill,” said Mabatsekker. “It’s amazing what a little blackmail will do in the right hands.”
“ANYWAY,” said Wil, “we need some help. The ninjas, from two years ago? They’re back.”
“We know,” said Beckons.
“They’ve attacked Galloway twice,” said GG Crono. “The first time, they stranded Weiila in the future. The second time, they nearly killed the SOB outside the hyrbid warehouse.”
“All three attacked us, too,” said Omega. “They kicked our asses in short order, but SOMEONE stopped them from killing us.”
“If I wasn’t trapped on a road trip that Christmas, I’d know what you were talking about,” pouted kiro.
“In any case, we must proceed with caution,” said El Santo. “If these villains should seek to strike us back, we must be prepared to take them down with extreme care and precision.”
Meanwhile, in the Skyscraper of Doom…
“How…How could they-”
gunshot
“Now, gentlemen, this is no time for mistakes such as this. We must keep our eyes locked on the future, and that means capturing those brats and returning them here.”
“We will deal with it, sir.”
“And call custodial while you’re out there. Have someone remove this…garbage.”
MEANWHILE, IN THE DARK AND TERRIBLE FUTURE…
Weiila awoke to yet another day, the sun shining against the suprisingly not post-apocalyptic sky. Maria was absolutely nowhere to be found, and only Val had left a note, a Sticky-Pad reading, “Decided to take up drinking again. Will be back soon. There’s some TV Breakfasts in the fridge.” Weiila chuckled at the similarities between her Val and this future incarnation, stepped out into the hall, wisely decided just to have a bowl of cereal, and flew off to Kerr’s place.
Thankfully, her future self was nowhere near the toolshed, and didn’t seem to hear her approaching, if she was even there to begin with. Once again, it seemed, her luck was beginning to return. She pushed open the door to the shed, took a few steps in…and saw Maria and Kerr, lying on a cot in one corner…
She was barely able to stifle a scream, her mind secretly thankful that, for whatever reason, Galloway’s future self wasn’t around…
MEANWHILE, IN A DARK AND TERRIBLE PRESENT…
The Christmas Coalition convened once again, now full of sweet desserts. “Very well,” said the fifth member, “let us discuss our situation.”
“We need to stomp these non-Christmas fools out NOW!” said Jack T. Chick. “Otherwise, their acceptance of the made-up word ‘holidays’ will continue to spread!”
“Just what I was thinking,” said Bill O’ Reilly. “But I have a few-”
“NO ARGUMENTS, O’ REIILY!” shouted the lead figure. “We AGREE with you. You do not need to launch a debate against us!”
“…Sorry, my lord,” said O’ Reiily.
“They are still correct,” said the third figure. “We must be able to destroy this Wal-Mart worker and his cohorts before it is too late, before our control over the popoulus is revealed and unraveled.”
“Then let us make haste,” said the lead figure. “Order Rain and Chameleon to strike him now, at his most vulnerable. He must not escape our attention THIS TIME!”
Galloway found himself back at the evil corporation known as Wal-Mart, forced to continue his endless toils and tasks as an official greeter, forced to smile to even the cruelest of old ladies, screaming infants, and anti-corporation protestors. Trisha, meanwhile, hung out at the McDonalds, trying to have a civil conversation with the hellspawn known as Young Val, who was more interested in avoiding the crappy food and finding ways to kill the nearby eight-year-old with her Happy Meal toy.
Once again, Galloway didn’t pay any attention to the grey ninja sneaking, who was now getting some photo developed of his visit to the Generic Land o’ Ninjas. Meanwhile, the white ninja was keeping tabs on Galloway, somehow managing not to set off the smoke alarms with the constant black mist rising off his body. The saiyan still paid no attention to the ninjas, who quickly returned to their base once their task was completed.
Almost five minutes later, Galloway’s shift finally ended. The saiyan, the catgirl, and the superego left the store of evil behind, stopping only to appologize to the protestors for Gemini not being there.
Xero, Kairi and Mazrim set out with the upmost haste, determined to make it to Drake’s hold before dark. Fortunately, it was only about five miles, making it a ridiculously easy feat with the assistance of a dragon. Drake actually had quite a luxorious place; an ancient keep with walls rising high into the air, with enough room to fit the entire US Army, Navy, and Marine Corps. “…THIS IS A HOVEL?” asked Kairi.
“You should see some of the palaces other dragons had,” said Xero. “Even my home seems like a spit in the pan compared to those ancient beings. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must go in alone. I promise I will not be gone long.”
Insert rapid scene of Percival and Val being captured by ninjas. Really, there was nothing here worth seeing.
(to be continued)
Next time: REMATCH! Galloway vs. Ninjas! PLUS, more invites! AND, another villain enters to strike down our heroes!
Hey, wound somebody else. 
Great job still. 
Did I miss something, or did I just accept Young Wil’s presence without a lengthy speech on Time Paradoxes? And why hasn’t Young Wil stated his opinion (probably poor) on his adult self?
Other than that, good job, d. 
Sorry about all the delays, folks. It’s just…I’ve been sick the last week, with both a cold and an ear infection. Not to mention I’ve also been stuck typing essays and preparing portfolios. I simply have no time to write at the moment.
The keep’s interior courtyard was filled with an ancient, massive dragon-like beast, its body permenantly crouched against the earth thanks to its enormous weight. Through every opening in the keep’s towers and buildings, Xero could see mountains of gold, jewels, chests, crowns, and other precious treasures. A mere handful of some of the things Drake had stashed away would be enough to solve his city’s financial woes for decades. The dragon merely stared at Xero as he approached. “Ah, if it isn’t my dear great-nephew? Has ruling your beloved kingdom become-”
“Silence!” shouted Xero. “You know why I’m here. What do you know about my father’s death?”
The dragon’s eyes became cross, his body preparing to lunge at the comparatively smaller figure before him. “You are an impudent brat, you know that? Your father was not much better, but at least he showed me a little respect.”
“I have no time for respect,” said Xero. “Just tell me what I want, and I will leave you to guard your pathetic hoard for the rest of your life.”
Drake cleared his throat and began to speak. “Very well…I will tell you everything I know, if only to get your ass out of my home!”
The workers at the hotel had finished the repairs hours ago, and had left the old place looking even better than before. Galloway, Trisha and Young Val sat in the lounge, eating Millano cookies and waiting for Val and Percival to return. After nearly an hour of waiting, Galloway pulled himself out of the sofa and reached for a dimensional device. “Where are you going?” asked Trisha.
“To send some more invites,” said Galloway. “We really have a lot more ground to cover, and frankly we’re running out of time.”
“But…what about the big meanie me?” asked Young Val.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” said Galloway. “She’s probably off somewhere, drinking herself into sweet, unending oblivion.”
MEANWHILE, IN A PLACE THAT WAS NOT SWEET, UNENDING OBLIVION…
Val and Percival were thrown before the robed Christmas Coalition, all of whom were more than eager to begin their assault…
(to be continued)
Tomorrow: THE REAL UPDATE!
…You know, I’m really close to just cancelling this fic. It’s been a fucking hell to write for, especially during the last month. So far, I have an update that isn’t done, my grandfather has died, I got a fucking hell of a cold, finals have crushed me under a shit load of work, and I have two other fics that desperately need updating.
So, in other words, I’m going to see how things shape up these next couple of days. Unless I’m struck with some inspiration for this, I’m probably going to just give up on any further Christmas fics.
It is your fic and your decision, so make what you will of it. Good job so far, though Mr. Galloway.
(My fics tend to come out in bursts of overeagerness to type out something so that’s why I write so little these days. You got daily parts submitted at your peak.)
That would be a shame to lose the craziness that is your Christmas fic, but it’s your call Galloway.
If you want to quit this story, don’t let us stop you.
I understand, d. I know how crazy things get, and while I am sorry that you need a break from this fic, but I know how easy it is to put things on hold.
Just take your own pace
Yes, please do not murder yourself; I remember my days as an undergraduate and there is nothing worse than having a bad cold when you are already burdened to the brim.
In fact, if you decide to end things as they are, I should be quite satisfied: kidnapped alongside Valkyrie Esker by an order of fanatical ninja. Most amusing!
Of course, you might put this work into storage for the moment, and continue with your other works. I gather that you have the most desire to finish The Final Saga, which is now almost two years old. Perhaps if you reduce the number of works that you feel demand your immediate attention, you might make better progress. Still, you know yourself best.
Okay, I tried to think of some way to continue this, but I’m suffering from some major writer’s block at this point. The fact is, I probably should have stuck by my previous comments and stopped writing Christmas sagas. Still, I intend fully to someday, somehow finish this. The biggest problem is the Xero arc; I know how I want it to end, but I have no idea how to get to that point.
The point is, the fic won’t be finished by Christmas, obviously; however, I FULLY intend to finish it sometime.
That’s okay, hurray for continuing it though!
But…but…but…I want to roast that greedy bastard’s ass!
Seriously, take your time Galloway, I’m in no hurry to see this finished. Do what you need to do.
insert sound of leaf blowers, dust devils, incantations of ancient evils, and a Three Tenors album in the background
Well, folks…this fic is…
!!!BACK!!!
cue fanfare
Alright, I’m reviving this “masterpiece.” I have an idea about what I’m doing, and tomorrow, the FIRST UPDATE IN OVER FOUR MONTHS!
And sometime in April…THE FANFIC ARCHIVE WILL BE UPDATED! I don’t care if turning my laptop on causes a fire. So help me, I’m going to get my ass in gear and get the archive running again.
Mazrim and Kairi sat outside the castle, feeling as if an eternity had passed. “How long have we been sitting out here?” said Kairi.
Mazrim glanced at his watch, and then back at the girl. “About…fifteen minutes.” Kairi hung her head between her knees and sighed. “You are correct, though. It has seemed like a much longer period of time. What is keeping his royal pain-in-the-assness?”
After staring Xero down for what seemed like an eternity, Drake finally cleared his throat, which at his size and strength felt like a small typhoon. “Many centuries ago, your father, despite lacking the intelligence, ruthlessness, and cunning needed to properly rule over the dragons, somehow managed to ascend to the throne. Naturally, a few like-minded council members such as myself objected to his softening views on the cattle-”
“Don’t call them that,” said Xero.
Drake emitted a noise that sounded like a grunt and groan intermixed. “Very well. His softening views on ‘non-dragons’ raised alarm amongst members of the council. We decided that, in the interest of our species’ survival, we had to eliminate your father before his reforms came into law. In that way, my path to the throne would be clear, and the kingdom would be safe.”
Xero came close to striking down Drake, but suddenly realized that, unfortunately, he still needed him alive. “Then you admit to my father’s murder?”
“No, of course not,” said Drake. “Somehow, my accursed brother managed to discover about the conspiracy, and had my fellow conspirators executed before we could even hire an assassin. I was fortunate that my connection was not discovered, but I knew it was only a matter of time before he learned the truth. To preserve my life, as well as the heritage of our people, I escaped to one of my many fortresses and hideouts.”
“Do you expect me to buy such a preposterous story?!” shouted Xero. “What are you hiding?”
“NOTHING, YOU LITTLE BRAT!” shouted Drake. “Xero, have you thought about the one person who knows for sure who murdered your father? Have you even considered traveling to confront this being?”
Xero shook his head and stepped towards the exit. “Search the Land of the Dead,” shouted Drake. “Speak to your father’s spirit. Perhaps it will have some answers. I even heard that one of your human allies located the island’s location; perhaps he will help.”
Xero stopped dead in his tracks. “How…How do you know about my actions in RPGC?”
“I have been keeping watch over you for some time, Xero,” said Drake. “You are my only nephew, as well as the Bahamut, after all. I must ensure the best for our people.”
Without even acknowledging Drake, Xero pushed the heavy gates open and exited the ruined castle. Within minutes, he and his allies were on their way to RPGCity.
After a few minutes, the same figure that had invaded Xero’s kingdom emerged from the shadows, his face still covered by a mask. “You are a very bad liar, Drake. I tell you to distract the Bahamut, and you send him RIGHT where he needs to go!”
“You assume too much,” said Drake. “The whelp does not even begin to fathom the true power he commands. Soon, he will-”
“Enough of this, Drake,” said the figure. “My employer promised you a mountain of treasure in exchange for your services. And so far, you have nearly bungled our operation!”
“Tell your master I-”
“Expect payment? No, your job is not done. Bahamut Xero still lives, the ninjas failed to kill Gemini, Galloway and Weiila, and my EMPLOYER, not master, is getting impatient!” An aura of blue energy began to appear around the figure’s right hand, his arm trembling terribly. For a brief moment, fear entered Drake’s eyes. “Ah…you recognize this power, don’t you?”
“Stop this!” said Drake. “What does your…employer desire now?”
The energy dissipated as the figure continued. “If Xero survives his journey, he will no doubt return here with new information, new doubts, new desires for revenge. When he does so, you are to delay him long enough for me to finish him. UNDERSTOOD?!”
Drake nodded, and the figure vanished. “We will see, human,” the dragon said. “We will see…”
(to be continued)
Next time: Galloway gets trapped in a cornucopia of bad memories! Plus, the RPGC Task Force vs. two ninjas and a guy named Fred!
Just as I suspected, Drake’s more bark than bite. Great job Galloway! Can’t wait to see how I deal with his incompetence.
Galloway walked into the hotel, stretching himself as if recovering from a long sleep. Trisha walked in after him, holding Young Val by the hand. Galloway cupped his hands over his mouth and shouted, “HELLO! ESKER? PERCIVAL?”
“Guess they took off,” said Trisha. Young Val muttered something about freedom, but quickly remembered the REAL reason she was holding hands with Trisha: she had glued them together in a lame sitcom-esque setup. “Too bad. We could REALLY use an indestructable spear right now…”
“The thing’s not REALLY indestuctable,” said Galloway. “I mean, it’s been destroyed a few times; it just pulls itself back together after a few hours. And unfortunately, that has never been enough to beat Val…” He reached under the lobby counter and pulled out a small grey device the shape of a garage door opener. “Trisha, can you watch over the hotel for a few minutes?”
Trisha reached out with her free hand to stop a struggling Young Val. “I don’t…see why not!” she grunted, barely able to hold the kid down.
“Good, cause I have some more invitations to send out,” said Galloway. “Speaking of which, I should probably…invite them now.” He shuddered at the thought, but pushed a button on the device anyway, causing a blue portal to open beside him. Taking in a deep breath, he stepped through the portal, which closed mere seconds before Young Val would have been able to jump through.
An alarm suddenly roared through the entire bunker, sending the Task Force into a blind panic. Fortunately, the heavy sedatives they had administered kept the kids unconscious, and the guests from their RPGC were sound asleep after accidentally being sedated, so only the Task Force, Young Wil and El Santo had to wake up. Heaven’s Soldier pressed a switch on the computer keypad, and an image of downtown RPGC appeared, revealing a scene of general disarray, as a grey and white ninja smashed their way across the market district.
“What the heck is this?” asked Young Wil.
“The ninjas are back, it seems,” said Heaven’s Soldier. “All right, team, we have a chance to stop these guys for good!”
GG Crono turned to Young Wil and El Santo. “It…might be better if you stay here for now. Someone needs to keep an eye on those kids.”
“Agreed,” said El Santo. “Good luck to all of you.” The Task Force nodded in acknowledgment and thanks, and rushed to the Task Force-mobile.
(to be continued)
Next time: The rest of the update. Plus, new characters!
All right, sorry about the short chapter, but…happy birthday to me. celebrates by doing even less work
Aw sweet, you’re updating again! Nicely done Gallo.