Cell phones


Have you always wanted to do weightlifting, but not found an excuse to not make yourself look like a bodybuilding moron with no brains? The X-Gage is the solution: Not only does it weight more than the weights they got down at the local sweatshot, but it looks cool and is cool. You can play video games on it, and what attracts the ladies more than videogames? Nothing! Not that you will need the ladies. The X-Gage is better than sex!

Not only does it look like talking into a taco, but just imagine how humilating it must be to say. “Excuse me, just give me a minute while I turn this thing off, take out the battery, and replace the game cartidge”. Double awkward.

Consoles should be consoles, and phones should be phones. Just like they shouldn’t be PCs, but a supplement to PCs.

Wert that was fucking hilarious. I almost died when the guy had the Neo*Geo sideways.:hahaha; :hahaha; :hahaha; :hahaha;


You see, Satan and some unknown Agent in the world (who makes the vessles known as ‘cell phones’) have this pact to enslave humanity through these cell phones. Satan transports a tiny demon inside each and every phone for purchase. When someone buys one for ownership and first uses it, in the speed of light or if there’s anything faster than that, the demon jumps inside your head, and copys all your information stored there, wether it’s tangible or non, like your past experiences, emotions, and PIN numbers and such. Then in the same amount of speed, it transports itself back into the cell phone before you notice anything.

Over a matter of days, the demon relays the information back to Satan. This takes time because this sort of thing happens daily world wide. Too much transaction of information at one time to the nether-regions of Hell could cause suspicion, which they don’t want. But I’m on to them!!

Anyways, Satan then decides wether he wants this soul to be his or not.

1: If not, he gives the demon two choices.

 a>Either try and corrput this soul into becoming a slave to the cell phone through uses of dial-rings and games n'shit or just yakking away to some bimbo.

 b>The demon can try and pilot the "cell phone" into hiding where he then lives on his own pitiful existance as whatever he decides to be, which will be short-lived 'cause he didn't tell the demons in the first place if they're outside their vessle for more than two minutes, they implode without a trace left.  This explains why cell phones either get lost or die out.

2: If so, he tells the demon to continue molesting the victims moral fiber until he obeys the will and beckon to the cell phone. When the demon has done a satisfactory job (elsewise, see 1b) he will promote the demon into capturing the victims soul and transfering IT in bits and pieces back to Hell. The victim then becomes a soul-less coldhearted bastard that roams the face of the earth. And the numbers keep rising…

This is why we need more payphones.

Better than the N-Gage.

Originally posted by Wertigon
[b]Well… This page might shed a light on the problem: http://www.sidetalking.com/

ROFL [/b]

lol. uh, ok, I think I’m pretty much ruled out the n-gage. <.<

And I work for Satan, Kagato, I’m not enslaved by him. That’s of course the whole reason I started this thread. :stuck_out_tongue:

Originally posted by Astral
And I work for Satan, Kagato, I’m not enslaved by him. That’s of course the whole reason I started this thread. :stuck_out_tongue: [/b]

Ha! Thats what my friend James said, right before he burst into flames and was pulled underground by a giant icy claw.
You know what James was also doing at the time? TALKING ON A CELL PHONE!