The Heat Has Stopped
So what happens, when the heart just stops,
Stops caring for anyone,
Rinoa got quietly out of the bed she shared with Squall and started over to the writing desk on the other side of the room. She sat down and took out a sheet and a pen and started thinking about what to write and what was driving her to write it.
The hollow in your chest dries up,
And you stop believing.
She thought of the time that had passed since they had come out of time compression, over two years now. Two years where she had felt the bond grow stronger as she grew weaker. As he grew weaker, more like her father had being with her mother, possessive.
So what happens when the heart gives up,
But the body goes on living,
He cared for her, but he had forgotten that, and the reasons it had happened. Now she had become like a trophy to him, no longer important to have feelings for.
The blood crawls to a slow and stops,
And flows away.
The love was gone, disappeared like ashes in the wind. Vanished to sight, pushed into a corner to rot and remain.
And you see I’m feeling everything
She still loved him, and each time she looked at him, she felt that and felt it drawing her strength from her, stealing it away.
No love would beseech
She was never one to beg, never one to ask, and she wasn’t about to start now. He had to decide for himself. He had to make the choice.
We only have ourselves to blame…for everything
There was no answer in the dust,
She was not without blame. She should have done this far sooner, when it had first become apparent to her what was happening. She shouldn’t have waited for a miracle, she should have made her own.
And now you’re sleeping
And I’m leaving,
She glanced over at his moonlit form once more, and felt a brief tugging, a slight longing to stay. She steeled herself and prepared for what she had to do. For what had to be done for them both.
Empty-handed waited
Time it will subside,
Her hand ached to hold his once before she left, but she pushed down that desire as well, knowing it would leave. Time would dull the ache. She could only hope space would spark the feelings.
It was a given
There was no standard we could set
And the world it does regret
To have to leave you in this state of bereavement,
Theirs was a unique situation, as all knight and sorceresses had found. Each time it was different, each experience was changed. Humanity had often come to regret some of the experiences they gave them. But that had not happened to them. And now she had to go, though it would cause suffering to the one she cared for the most, it was the way it had to be.
[I}You see I’m feeling everything Nothing gets by,[/i]
She felt the tears gathering again in her eyes as she contemplated the task ahead of her. The pain stuck at like a knife in the chest each time she thought about it. She wiped them away roughly before they could dampen the page.
There is a hollow in my chest
The time I won’t forget,
She promised herself that she wouldn’t forget the good times anyway, thought she would never forget the bad either. She had to learn to cope with what had happened, because she knew she would never be able to face him if she didn’t.
There is no comfort in the eyes
They put us always to the test
I can’t prepare myself for that,
For the past year she had felt under constant pressure whenever he had being near her, pressure to succeed, pressure to excel, to go above the best, to be better than anyone else. Though he had to have known it was likely an impossible task, whatever her talents. She couldn’t be the best at everything, it was undoable.
But I work it out in time
There is a love that flows between us,
She would come back to him, one time, or he would come and find her if he was ready. The bond that they shared would ensure that, though only when he knew again what he felt.
Ever-changing everyday
I worked myself up to a crawl
But I’m not fearing it at all,
She forced her mind back onto the challenge at hand, the letter she had to pen to him, to let him know what was happening. To let him know why she had gone. She wasn’t sure which made her feel worse, the leaving or the reason. But she would do it. She was resolute that she would follow through on the missive she was about to write.
We have no reason left to stay
And that’s why we’re leaving,
She would leave, taking the prominence that came with having a sorceress with her. There was no way she would remain to face more of the same, until she would be unable to leave, unable to do anything about it.
And there was no answer in the dust
And the one I feared to trust
There is a lie that drags us
Beating and pulling into disappointment,
She could no longer put her trust in him, for he had abused it too many times before. The lie of the love he no longer knew of had taken away that ability. She wanted to try and make sure he understood that, as she bent over the paper and started to write.
[i]I’m disappointed
I’m disappointed
I’m disappointed
It’s so late, till you’re gone.[/i]
She folded the paper and wrote his name on it and placed it in the centre of the cleared desk. Then she bent down and picked up her travelling bag. She let the tears flow freely now that she had started walking. She walked out of the room, glanced around and started for the gate. And inside, Squall moved in the bed and frowned as he found himself alone…
AN: The song is What happens when the heart just stops, by The Frames. Feedback anyone?