A small girl issue

Is it okay to have have a girlfriend, and hang out with other female friends? I got a girlfriend, I love her very much. There’s this other girl at work who’s been getting me to hang out with her at the bars. I’d like to hang out with her, because she’s cool and all, and the more friends the better. I’m just not sure how my g/f would take it. She works sort of next door to us (Me and this girl are in produce, she’s in bakery) and she’s seen us talk on the floor, and she said it makes her a little jealous. And I was going to run it by her to see if she would have a problem with it, until she said that.

Run it by her anyway. No harm in it. The decision is ultimately your choice and your choice alone, regardless of what she says.

edit: and a new drinking buddy is always good to have :wink:

Don’t let your girl run your life. If you wanna hang out with her, do it. If she gets all enraged over it, just imagine the implications of that farther down the road.

So long as you’re not doing anything behind her back, you’re ok. Just make that crystal clear to her and everyone else involved. But like SG said, if there’s nothing else going on and she’s still jealous, it’s probably time to have a little talk. :stuck_out_tongue:

Do them both at the same time.


Maybe I’m playing the she-devil’s advocate. But my first question is, do you go to the bar a) to drink and talk with just her, b) with just her to meet others there, or c) in a group the whole time? If it’s c), don’t bother mentioning it to your girlfriend. If it’s b), you’re safe not asking, but your girlfriend will get suspicious if she finds out you’re walking to and from a bar with the same girl all the time.

If you’re doing a) on a regular basis, no amount of explanation will convince your girlfriend that it’s innocent fun. Frankly, I’d agree with her. You’ll be drunk with a girl who’s not so familiar, you’ll end up doing greater than/lesser than equations in your head, and, well, the other man’s grass is always greener. Especially when you’re drunk.

I see no problem with talking with another girl, but Xwing does raise a good point. What’s the purpose behind hanging out at a bar with her, and what are her intentions? Drinking can make you do things you normally would rationalize out of the question.

Anyways, be sure to let your girlfriend know of your plans (which you should be anyways in a healthy relationship). If she objects then talk it over with her. You shouldn’t feel chained up, but at the same time you should be aware of each others limits.

Is it okay to have have a girlfriend, and hang out with other female friends?
Yes, but
There’s this other girl at work who’s been getting me to hang out with her at the bars.

Your GF is jealous because the fact that you’re hitting on chick b at work (and you are, otherwise she wouldn’t be bothered by it) makes her question the legitimacy of your feelings for her. If it’s THAT easy to win you over, how much can your approval ever really mean to her? Something along those lines.

It sounds like a lot of her pride and confidence are drawn from you. Getting smashed in a sexually charged atmosphere with a girl you’ve already been seen mackin’ out on at work isn’t a very good way to not damage that pride.

I’m not gonna tell you what I think you should or should not do, but… if I was you, and I felt like not being a douchebag to her, I’d probably not hit the bars with chick b.

Your call though.

lol what?

Yeah you aren’t allowed to have friends of the opposite sex when you’re dating someone.

Sorry this sounds like some ridiculous issue a middle schooler would face

Lanyx, I…

I love you.

If she is jealous, she is not worth the trouble. Regardless of circumstances. People don’t own other people.

Unless you’re into that.

Unless she has something to be jealous about.

If you really want that relationship to last, then you need to make sure you don’t get yourself into a situation that might threaten it. It’s not a question of whether your girlfriend is jealous but whether you’re putting yourself into a situation that would make a reasonable person jealous. If you’re going to a bar with one particular girl while you’re going out with someone else, I’d also agree with her that it’s not exactly a vote of confidence in your relationship.

See, I disagree with you. Your girlfriend (or boyfriend), does not own you. Regardless of what you do, jealousy is creepy, possessive, and literally always a bad thing.

Allow me to clarify something:

I do believe there are some situations where you do need to make compromises with your partner. If you just say “Yeah, shut up, I do what I want!” all the time, then you’re not even gonna have a functional relationship.

However, I think just hanging out with a girl - so long as for you, it’s just that - then that’s fine. Maybe you will have to make it clear to your girlfriend (though, as a matter of principle, I think you shouldn’t have to); however, it’s ridiculous of anyone to expect you to be responsible for her emotions. If your partner expects that of you (excessively clingy, jealous, etc.), then that’s yet another red flag.

If, like Hades said, your girlfriend’s pride and confidence solely rest on you, then that’s not fair to you. She needs to either work that out herself, or, if you’re really, really into this girl, you could talk to her about it.

Maybe you shouldn’t date jail bait you PEDOPHILE


I don’t agree with Cid on a lot of things, but these are probably the truest words I’ve ever heard about jealousy.

Regardless of what you think your intentions are, you have to work with the understanding that bars have a sleazy reputation and an endless supply of alcohol, and you’re planning on hitting them up with a girl from work you already know she doesn’t like. Think about the message you’re sending. If you care about her, you won’t give her that vote of non-confidence Cid’s talking about. It doesn’t matter if there’s any real threat. If you love someone, you don’t give them any reason to worry.

You can still go to the bars, but you better make damn sure she knows why you’re there and what you’re doing there. But if I were you and I cared about her as much as you said you do, I’d either take her with me or opt out.

I technically agree with you, but… it sounds like you draw the line a lot earlier that most people do. There’s nothing wrong with letting a huge part of your emotions, pride, and confidence rest on the approval of someone else. If they feel the same way, being around them can feel like a heroin rush at times. It is risky though. It all depends on what you want out of a relationship. Personally, I’m not really looking for any female “buddies” right now, which is why I wouldn’t take this advice too far.

If you have problems controlling your woman, just smack her and say “Listen bitch! This is how it’s gonna be.” It’ll solve everything.:mwahaha:

Girls love independent men. If you submit yourself to her whims then she’ll end up walking all over you and dumping you for being a push over. This may or may not happen, but girls hate it when their guys “ask permission”.

Girls like men who stand up for themselves, not men who act rebellious for the sake of being rebellious. Any rule can be taken too far. Balance is key.

there are few universal truths. one is to never give a girl the oppurtunity to tell you how to live your life. trust me.

↓↓↓↓↓ listen to this man. you cant love someone else without loving yourself first. and self respect and self worth begin from within. ↓↓↓↓↓