A serious problem....

Ho-kay, so I need some sound advice…

I have these two friends in particular, right? Known the girl since middle school and the guy my last three years of high school, been best friends with them ever since. They start dating around three, maybe four years ago. Everything was going well for the longest time, even thinking about marriage and all. These last six months, though, was different. The guy didn’t do much besides work a full time labor job for ten hours every weekday, and during time off he didn’t want to do anything. The girl was stuck as a manager at a media store that didn’t pay her above minimal wage and couldn’t switch jobs because both of them lacked a car and she was due to have jaw surgery, provided they somehow acquired insurance, which would render her unable to operate her jaw much and needed a job where she didn’t have to speak much. Anyways, around these six months, she got irritable, the guy started becoming a hermit, everyone just assumed it was a phrase, telling the girl to hang in there and the guy to get his gameface on and brighten up or something of the like. Guy comes to my place a few days ago and tells me that she left him. Had been having an affair with a friend of theirs, if you can call him a person. This guy works a shit job, talks about joining Army, plays obscene amounts of WoW when not working, mopes when people around, etc, generally some pathetic douche lump of useless meat. I met him twice; an angsty pre-teen would feel better about his or herself after seeing this sod. Anyway, the affair had been happening for two solid months. The guy never raged about it, rather just shut down and broke down and all that. He still wants her back, she still wants him in his life, while at the same time she wants to “play the field” by shagging this same guy WHILE still living with the friend of mine. In the same bed. He’s such in a shit shape that he’s just allowing this shit to happen. I can’t stand the girl after the shit she pulled, but don’t want to losing a friend because of stuff that’s not my business. Meanwhile the guy just wants everything to work itself out and I feel pissed at him for it and all, and I totally don’t care But here is my REAL problem, I haven’t been shopping in two weeks, I don’t want to go outside right now, and all I have is a god damned can of pork and beans, some walmart brand potato chips, and pancake mix. Chips arent filling, beans and pancakes OBVIOUSLY won’t taste good together, so which do I eat first? I don’t want to eat my breakfast meant for tomorrow tonight, and if I eat my pork and beans and chips (together, that’s how I take it, it’s the yums, lol) I won’t have din din tomorrow night after work, I don’t get paid until tuesday. Srsly need ur advice guys.

Go see what else is in the fridge

Go to Walmart and stuff something down your pants or in your coat.

Kill the guy and eat him.

There is nothing you can do if the guy won’t listen to reason. If he doesn’t have the will to listen to you and help himself, then don’t make it your problem. You’ll just get yourself dragged down too.



He should wait til she recovers from this before even considering being with her again. Unless she doesn’t mind her friends taking care of him while she heals.


The guy was on the phone talking to me about going heavily drinking tonight or something when My roommate came in with groceries and he had fucking REESES PEANUT BUTTER CEREAL and I was like DUDE. It’s a choclatey peanut buttery orgasmic explosion for the senses! You GOTTA share that shit sometime! And he said ok if you make pancakes. Then I said ok. So I had pancakes for dinner and will be dining on a bowl (just one, I’m not an inconsiderate asshole or anything) of fucking REESES for BREAKFAST.

Problem solved.

That’s good. That was getting kind of scary there.

She has an overbite? Unfortunate.

I, too, have an overbite and receding chin. Being a poor bastard who lives with the women he sleeps with, I solved this problem by growing a beard. My cohabitor does not like my beard, but this is one thing upon which I will not compromise, because, if I didn’t have a beard, she probably would find someone else to sleep with.

Your buddy needs to either confront her and figure out what he’s gonna do - get together, be friends, have a threesome, or rage and tell her to fuck off - or cut her out of his life. Relationships are about communication; even - especially - when you fight, you’re still comminicating. And if she is mindfucking him so bad that he’s losing it, then the relationship isn’t worth it. For me, nothing is worth my sanity. If he decides that’s the case, then he should just let her go. Never talk to her, never acknowledge her, basically pretend she doesn’t exist until his memories of her fade and she is dead to him, emotionally. Cut out the poison, in short. It’ll hurt, but fuck, he’s been hurt worse by her.

I am a class 3 overbite. I think its getting worse because my jaw clicks a lot nowadays. I look normal because of my awesome chin…and combat jacket.