This is a Mabatsekker story. He did give me clearance, but I’m posting it on this board so that he himself will be able to see the final result. Lots of references to Street Fighter, but believe me, these are references anyone can get, or if not, you can always ask Mab.
Seriously, I have no idea how it turned out. I proof-read my work as I go along, and my sense of humor is generally disliked by most, so…yeah. On with it.
The Incredible Adventures of Mabatsekker, Saikyo Student
Chapter 1 : The Actual Beginning
This tale begins in a land far away from civilization, a land where beasts roamed free and incomprehensible tongues were studied. A land of culture, peace, and snow. This land was called “Finland”. In this Finland stood a city. No one knew what it was named as, and no one even cared. What the people liked about this city was absolutely nothing, which is why most of the youths moved to big cities.
There was one youth that was left behind. That youth longed for a love he had, but lost to some external force, or just because she wanted a break in their relationship, I have no freaking idea, but in any case, she was not there. However, this led to the many nights of sadness of that certain boy. This boy’s parents had forbade him to go away from home, or at least, not until he was 18. You see, the world outside was evil, perverted and downright mean.
Little did they know that their little son had already come into contact of all these things, and they definitely had no mark upon his soul.
This young man was named “Mabatsekker”. A young grasshopper in the martial art ways, and you know, he wasn’t all that fast either, but he had a heart of gold. This heart of gold was what had sent many on their way to challenge him.
A mysterious man, well-versed in the ways of the fight, passed through Mabatsekker’s village, and the inhabitants did not welcome him. I mean, come on, he’s a wandering martial artist, when was the last time he had a shower!? No one knew the answer to that question…however, he did enounce one thing.
“I want to challenge the boy of the golden heart to a match of true desire and fists, nothing more.”
Not wanting to stink up their village more, they accepted, and pointed to Mabatsekker. Mabatsekker, not actually being prepared to fight, stood before the cloaked man, and said the following phrase.
“But sir! I have never fought before!”
“You gotta start somewhere, c’mon bitch, daddy’s gonna pimp your ass.”
The crowd was shocked and appalled by the stranger’s vocabulary. However, the match was even quicker. The stranger charged towards the golden-hearted boy, uppercutted his chin, and jumped while yelling as loud as he could the following battle cry…
“SHORYUKEN!”
Mabatsekker was instantly knocked out, however, when he heard that man say this strange word, his spirit was questioning itself. Something it hadn’t done since this morning, as Mabatsekker never did know what to eat for breakfest. If such powerful men exist in the world, then why wasn’t he as powerful as them? Coming from a long tradition of blue mages, one would expect that he could have learned this…Shoryuken or something, but alas, he was knocked out.
Which surprised everyone in the vicinity.
Which, in turn, made the loudest gasp the world had ever known.
Which, in turn, sent a small planet off it’s orbit and into its sun, melting all inhabitants of said planet.
But the stranger, him, was not surprised. He quickly left the city where the golden hearted one lay, only to go towards another direction. He left Mabatsekker for granted, prone to much stompings from the cruel people envying his golden heart. Of course, they didn’t realize that they didn’t have a golden heart because they were cruel, but such is the way of things.
In any case, Mabatsekker fell unconscious.
When he came to, his parents, who we will call Mike and Monique, were around him, in their official Blue Mage garb. At least, for Mike it was official Blue Mage garb. For Monique, let’s just say it was a bit more revealing. A slight bit. In fact, for someone who lived in Finland during winter, if you’d wear that, you’d die of an atrocious death by freezing your ass off.
“Uh, what?” asked the poor Mabatsekker, mystified by the fact that he finally got back home.
“Oh, poor Mabatsekker! Does it hurt?” asked his mom, because you know, that punch looked like it freaking hurt!
“I feel strangely fine. I guess someone out there looks out for me.” he answered, our good young friend called Mabatsekker.
“I did. I kinda casted “Big Guard” and “MFin Defense” on you before the match began.” said his father.
“How come I didn’t see the familiar glow?” Mabatsekker retorted, not trusting his father.
“Because I’m that damn good, bitch. Anyway, you got pwned, and as much as I don’t want to do this, you’re a Blue Mage. If we coop you up in here, you’re gonna suck. So we’ve decided to book you a plane to anywhere you want to go.” his dad told.
However, in Mabatsekker’s head, there was but one destination that needed visiting.
“I will go…to Japan!”
At the airport, Mabatsekker, our dear Blue Mage/Martial Artist in training, was soaking up all the sights of a technological wonder that was called a “bench”. You could do anything with a bench. You could sleep on it, sit on it, and even hug it if you were a benchophile. However, as Mabatsekker isn’t a benchophile, and he’s technically a bit taken for the moment, even if he temporarily lacks the girlfriend to say so, he wasn’t hugging the bench but rather, sitting on it before his plane arrived.
Then, a white haired ninjutsu-user arrived. He turned his head towards Mabatsekker, with intent to kill, and simply said :
“HOLY ZEN!”
Then, he departed as fast as he had arrived. Mabatsekker wondered what the hell that was. However, that did not deter him from his quest at hand.
Now there was a problem.
He had no quest at hand. He was ready to embark to Japan, and knew that he had to do something. What did he have to do? He forgot.
“Oh well, I can get some anime not released here and come back if I can’t remember once I’m there!”
Smiling stupidly and joyfully, he did not notice he was about to run into two thugs. In fact, when he made the impact, he fell on his butt, and the two thugs were towering over him.
“Yo, G, look what we got?”
“Some freak in blue?”
“Yeah. Let’s punch 'em!”
They stood at the side of Mabatsekker, and Mabatsekker did not know what to do, so he cowered in fear.
POW! SHTUCK! PTOOEY!
The two thugs had nailed each other with their punches, and spat out a part of their teeth before falling unconscious. Mabatsekker was pleased. He had learned his first ability by cleverly defeating these monsters, and that was the “Thug Punch”. Which was only a punch, but, hey, at least now, Mabatsekker could defend himself against oncoming threats, which, of course, there would be plenty, but first, he actually had to get to Japan first.
In order to get to Japan, he had to board his plane, and fight off old ladies, bodybuilders, transvestites and various other enemies, which includes the pilot, who had left his seat in order to clobber the hero of the story. Mabatsekker used his mighty “Thug Punch” to defeat all who stood in his way, especially the pilot.
But there was one thing still in Mabatsekker’s mind.
“Why does everyone want to attack me?”
Mabatsekker finally arrived in Japan, though it wasn’t like he thought it would be. First of all, he expected to land at an airport instead of a smoldering crater. He also figured that Japan would be a bit less panicky, but fortunately, he thought, he arrived safe and sound. However, he was not prepared for one of the first things you encounter when going in a foreign country.
The language barrier.
And Mabatsekker had run right into it. “Ow.” was all he could say.
In the middle of Tokyo, our favorite wandering Blue Mage in search of power, glory and love was lost. He did not know where to go, and as people in Japan were usually not too quick on starting fights, he wouldn’t get to learn any Blue Mage powers. So he decided to check out the ads. Of course, it had not dawned upon him that they were all in Japanese. Well, it did, but he figured it couldn’t hurt.
In any case, he was in front of a TV store, and on the TV was showing the ad of one man in pink. This man in pink would be closely tied to Mabatsekker’s upcoming in the world, and to this story. This man, Mabatsekker knew well. It was none other than the all mighty Dan Hibiki, Master of Saikyo, the Strongest, martial art style. Mabatsekker then saw a bunch of symbols that seemed to indicate the address, and then immediately zoomed towards it.
Somewhere out there, the same dark clad figure that attacked Mabatsekker in Finland was onlooking. And laughing really hard. Then returned to onlooking.
Mabatsekker finally arrived to the Saikyo dojo, which he found surprisingly empty. In it was Dan, cleaning up the front with a broom.
“Um, sir, why is your dojo empty?” asked the young and naive Mabatsekker.
“Pah! People nowadays have no idea what a true martial art is. They go to their Shotokan dojos, hoping to learn the big secrets that those pathetic excuses for street fighters Ryu and Ken have, and they don’t even realize that these two aren’t even Shotokan users, but they stay anyway, and let’s not talk about that Muay Thai. I mean, I already beat the former God of Muay Thai, and do you see anyone piling to my dojo? NO!”
“Mr Hibiki, if it’s not too much…”
“Yeah kid?”
“CanIpleaseenlistinyourdojopleasepleaseplease!?”
“Say what!? You actually want to enlist? I haven’t had a student since Jimmy left me to play with the monkeys in Brazil! I accept! However, you’ll have to throw your weight around here and you will have to do lots of work in order to be a Saikyo master. Are you ready for that?”
“Yes! Please teach me the power of Saikyo!”
And so, the strange friendship between the second worst martial artist ever and the youngest Blue Mage ever began…and if you think their adventures stop there, you’re sadly mistaken.
Incrdedible.
