So it’s 6:30 in the cold cold morning. Roomates blaring up to the Lord of the Rings movie and Bratney Speared music previously at 1:00 in the same cold cold morning. Only 4 hours or so of sleep, and I don’t feel like getting up until my arm, which was the only other part awake, flipped on the CD player and started playing “Advice”. Get up, and I have a sore throat begining, so I can’t eat/drink dairy, which is all I have for breakfast normally. After choming down some Fritos and Salsa for breakfast, hurridely get ready for the Engrish exam in one hour. Hair’s a mess, ponytail won’t become untangled, clothes got wrinkled, big mess. So I go to crank up the car and suprize! Old man frost just jacked off on my car. Damn ninja geezers! Five minutes later of cranking the heater and defroster to their maximum testicle limit, it looks like my car is a giant jizz snowball still. So using a spare Mountain Dew can (the whoe five cents worth of it) I managed to scrape the funk off of my windshiled and driver window. Unfortunately, as I found out when I almost backed out and hit a car right in the jimmy, I should’ve scraped off the OTHER windows. So, the car is burning up now, and there’s STILL mother-nature frozen juices clinging to the damn sled. I pull up at the turn around spot. Minutes later it becomes official. I’m late for exams. It’s a bad start already. And I’m not sure if these are my pants. So, I pull a Dukes of Hazard right out of the lane, and rip ass all the way down to the Foreign people building, only to turn right into taffic to get on Pelahm street, almost knocking down two pedestrians, then almost another one right in front of Merrill. My day could’ve been a HELL of a lot better if they were just THIIIIS much closer to the damn car! COME BACK HERE! LET ME FINISH THE JOB YOU MISERABLE…BAG OF ORGANS! Yeah!! So I sped the whole way here, 'cause in this weather, even the pigs would be too busy warming up their goolies to give chase to a megear college student. I do another DoH move right in the parking lot, jump out, do a damn ninja-matrix roll move down the fucking stairs, and run up to the computer lab. And surprize! Whitton turned into a tall, bronze haired, british guy! and everyone in my class got a complete make over! But someone was sitting in my seat. It took me a whole minute, just standing there, that’s not my seat because this isn’t my class. Those aren’t my made-over classmates, because this is not my class. That’s not my teacher, becuase he’s not pink. Yet somehow, by some unincomprehensible fact, I knew, yes, Virginia, these ARE my pants. Knowing that fact, I slumped out into the hall and checked the syllabus for engrish-how I still had that thing over all things I shove in my folders, I don’t know. I know I suck at math, but I still should’ve realized…DECEMBER 9TH DOES NOT COME AFTER DECEMBER 7TH! THERE’S A DECEMBER 8TH BETWEEN 'DEM BITCHES!!! Slumping down further on my seat, I read the lyrics to “Advice” that I had on the front of my folder. “Advice” always cheers me up. It’s like my trump card for curing depression n’shit. During that time, I had to think this one annoying fact… at least I have an extra day to prepare… It was annoying because with the path the morning had been, a meteor strike upon my ghetto sled would not have surprized me. This sudden inspiration changed my day and my attitude. Now, I want to strangle my damn conscience for ruining the perfect bad day.
But I hope you grasp the whole point of this story as I have. No matter what your situation, how bad your day, how nappy your hair, how funky your clothes smell, there is ALWAYS, ALWAYS, F**KIN’ A’ ALWAYS, a bright side. No matter how dim or flickering it is, there will always be a bright side.
Thank you for listening to my rant. You will have a good day, beacuse there is no other way to see it. So no worries, eh?
EDIT For the hell of it…666 POSTS! OMG!
