A conversation with my mother-

-nothing REALLY major, I guess, but some things she said were bothering me.

The way that she talks, she thinks that one of my first priorities is to appear good for other people. “You’ll never get a girlfriend if you wear that clothes/grow your hair any longer blah blah blah.”

Now, I don’t know if I’m STUPID or something- but I thought that MAYBE people cared a little more about other things than appearance. For example, if I met a girl who was stunningly attractive but a complete ditz and/or uninteresting (although those two tend to go together, so the “and/or” isn’t exactly necessary), I wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole.

Also- I’m at a pretty healthy weight. I’m not fat, I’m not skinny. My mother is pressuring me to lose weight, though (just like she pressures herself when she is NOT fat by any means)- and I think that its silly. Why should I lose weight when I am not at a point where I am uncomfortable?

I don’t get it. Am I supposed to be here to adjust for everyone else? Or am I allowed to be my own person, not have the hairstyle that everyone else wants me to, not wear what clothes people expect me to?

And should she even be meddling in my affairs? I’m eighteen years old and in college. I don’t need advice like that anymore than I need a bedtime or diapers.

I completely agree. This reminds me of a few things…

I don’t care if growing my hair out is stupid and “not cool”.

I don’t care if I’m not “just like everyone else”.

I don’t care if I look fat.

Things like this were pretty much the cause of my “Depression” thread…

<center><img src=“http://www.shrineguard.com/sauce/clones.jpg”></center>

WOAH!!! All those guys look the EXACT SAME!!! FREAKY!!!

Wow, that’s one of the worst Photoshop jobs I’ve ever seen.

Behold, the power of Photoshop :hahaha;

Seriously, getting a steady (or whatever you call it) has little to do with outward appearances, and more about socialization. The more ppl you talk to, the more chances you get to make new friends, etc. Mono-faceted relationships never last very long.

My grandmother told my father that he’d never find a woman if he keeps dressing like he did. Too bad he had been married since 2 years ago and my mother was standing right next to him.

It’s really just a catchphrase or a thought structure that mothers use to give their worries more depth. It’s silly and that’s it.

I think you should ignore her… chances are she won’t care if you tell her you don’t care, if she’s still telling you this stuff at your age.

You know exactly what I have to say.

Originally posted by Sinistral
You know exactly what I have to say.

You want my body. :wink:

Originally posted by Sinistral
You know exactly what I have to say.

Uh, not really.

CC, she’s a mother, most mothers are like that. Well mine isn’t but meh.

Anyway, you should just be who you want to be, you shouldn’t change yourself into other people’s perfect images of you, it’s your body and your life. I’ve always said that you should always love yourself before you let others love you. That way they’ll like you for who you are, not for who they want you to be.

Heh. Sounds like my Mom. “When you going to get a girlfriend?”, to which the answer is always the same: “Never - I have much better things to do with my time and money”. She never really gets it though - she’s always hinting about if I’m gay I can tell her and it won’t matter but I’m not gay! I get so annoyed with it - her and everyone else. Just because I don’t fawn over every female I see doesn’t automatically make me gay.

“Jane, you’re a mother, so you know everything.” (I believe a few of you will recognize that line.)

And my opinion on the matter is the following, if you’re not allowed to be your own person, then are you allowed to criticize the person who’s possession you are?

Well, a lot of girls are on apperences. Trust me, a lot of girls I know do that, but they aren’t just self absorbed bitches - it’s just a thing girls do. If you want a girl, you have to figure out a way to look good while not compromising your self image.

Sorc, some of us just can’t pull that, like me, for instance. I know how to make myself look not bad, but looking good is a no-no, except if I compromise my self-image.

I don’t know if it’s so much trying to “look good” as it is demonstrating that you care about your appearance. I’m not saying any of you don’t care about your appearances - hell, I don’t even know what most of you look like, and I definitely don’t know how you carry yourself and make yourself appear on a daily basis.

There’s only so much one can do with his or her appearance - the point is to do the best you can with what you’ve got.

edit - I forgot to say that those sorts of conversations sound bad. I’m glad I never had one. However, the ladies of the town back home have moved onto the “Has she found a nice man?” part of asking my mom about me. See, I already graduated from college and I’ve been working, so my love life is apparently the next thing to worry about. lol.

Originally posted by Cybercompost
[b]-nothing REALLY major, I guess, but some things she said were bothering me.

The way that she talks, she thinks that one of my first priorities is to appear good for other people. “You’ll never get a girlfriend if you wear that clothes/grow your hair any longer blah blah blah.”

Now, I don’t know if I’m STUPID or something- but I thought that MAYBE people cared a little more about other things than appearance. For example, if I met a girl who was stunningly attractive but a complete ditz and/or uninteresting (although those two tend to go together, so the “and/or” isn’t exactly necessary), I wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole.

Also- I’m at a pretty healthy weight. I’m not fat, I’m not skinny. My mother is pressuring me to lose weight, though (just like she pressures herself when she is NOT fat by any means)- and I think that its silly. Why should I lose weight when I am not at a point where I am uncomfortable?

I don’t get it. Am I supposed to be here to adjust for everyone else? Or am I allowed to be my own person, not have the hairstyle that everyone else wants me to, not wear what clothes people expect me to?

And should she even be meddling in my affairs? I’m eighteen years old and in college. I don’t need advice like that anymore than I need a bedtime or diapers. [/b]

Every fucking day. Except the hair for now, I was kinda forced in to getting it cut.

At least you can sit and talk with your mom… my mom won’t even say soemthing to me without rising her voice…

but, only if you’re really worried about yourself should you change… do what you think is right and don’t bother with what mom says. Only if people start telling things should you worry. Other wise, I’ll shut up now…