213 things you can no longer do in the Army

http://www.avalanchetankers.us/archives/000058.html

I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born

lmao harhar

Good lord, that was funny. 8p

The Irish MPs are not after ‘Me frosted lucky charms’.

XD

EDIT: Oh God, I found a better one. XDXD

100: Claymore mines are not filled with yummy candy, and it is wrong to tell new soldiers that they are.

:hahaha; :hahaha; :hahaha;

LOL!

<img src=“http://www.rpgclassics.com/staff/tenchimaru/td.gif”> That was absolutely hilarious.

Oh man, I can only imagine how often this guy did pushups or KP duty. It must’ve been fun as hell to know this guy though.

Dune reference! :smiley:

185: My name is not a killing word.

Beautiful.

Thanks. That made my day.

Man that just SO kicked ass.

That’s one of the funniest things I’ve read in a while.

The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, all Marines are latent homosexuals, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

…Fortunately, these rules do not apply to paintball wargames. :mwahaha:

Good find! :smiley:

This is the funniest thing I’ve seen all week. :hahaha;

Must not taunt the French any more.

“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!”

…oh wait, that says TAUNT the french. >_>;

I should not drink three quarts of blue food coloring before a urine test.

Nor should I drink three quarts of red food coloring, and scream during the same.

I am SOOO going to try that someday. :mwahaha:

That motherfucker!

The following words and phrases may not be used in a cadence- Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this formation and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, black earth mother, <b>all Marines are latent homosexuals</b>, Tantric yoga, Gotterdammerung, Korean hooker, Eskimo Nell, we’ve all got jackboots now, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

The guy was insane beyond a doubt after reading this in so many ways.

Uhm Info, dunno how they do things in the marines, but there’s usually only one way to read english.

If I take the uniform off, in the course of the lap-dance, it still counts.

:hahaha; :hahaha; :hahaha;

EDIT- HAHA! AN EVEN BETTER ONE!-

Must not make T-shirts up depciting a pig with the writing “Eat Pork or Die” in Arabic to bring as civilian attire when preparing to deploy to a primarily Muslim country.

Originally posted by StarStorm
Uhm Info, dunno how they do things in the marines, but there’s usually only one way to read english.

WTF are you talking about?

Originally posted by Infonick
[b]That motherfucker!

The guy was insane beyond a doubt after <i>reading this in so many ways.</i> [/b]

That would be it,

Originally posted by StarStorm
That would be it,

Ok, then “The guy was insane beyond a doubt after reading this, in so many ways.”

Ok, so you misread what I typed or meant.